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(Continued from)

BLAMING GOD, THEMSELVES, AND OTHERS FOR SUFFERING ABUSE 

The Lord Jesus utterly triumphed over Satan at the cross; we cannot ‘war’ against a defeated foe, (Col. 2:9-15!)  In the context of Scripture, we face the ongoing “battle” for the control of our souls or minds — our thoughts, free will, emotions, and intellect.  Whoever controls our minds, controls us.  “[So,] the weapons of God, [His True Word, salvation in Jesus, living in His righteousness, repenting from Moral sin, growing on a mind level through knowledge of His Word, and so on,] are mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, [false beliefs,] casting down arguments, [not ‘casting out demons,’] and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God; bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ,” (2 Cor. 10:3-5; Rom. 8:5-11.)  Obedience to the Lord is what liberates us from the control of Satan and his human abusers.  True believers are spiritually “complete” in Him and He said the truth will set us [mentally] free, (Jn. 8:31-32.) 

¨ The main intention of demons, who work through abusers of all kinds, is not ‘just’ to harm their victims on a physical and mental level, but to draw them away from God by distrusting Him, (Gen. 3:1-8.)  Actually, abusers aim at destroying the lives of people now and for eternity, (Rev. 3:11.)  The devil knows that suffering people can easily use non-stop abuse to blame God for all the ills in this world.  They ask, “How can a God of love ‘make’ us suffer so much?”  They also turn their anger against themselves and believe they are actually the worthless and evil ones because God cares more for their abusers than for them; that is why He allows demoniacs to torment innocent people and creatures unhindered.  Left unchecked, this lie can result in hatred for God, other people, and ourselves.  From there, this great deception expands into blame shifting, not only onto God but onto other people too.  Blame shifting is the first thing Adam and Eve did after the fall, as it is a deflection of human responsibility, (Gen. 3:12-13.)  [“That woman you gave me… The snake deceived me…” ] It still works the same today — with the same demolishing results. 

By God’s grace, doubting God’s abilities is the crossroad where victims must choose

Once totally lost and without direction, many severely abused people accept God’s mercy and choose to call on the Lord Jesus Christ to save them and lead them forward, instead of giving up on God and even on life itself.  Conversely, many more choose to find additional so-called ‘answers’ to their suffering to satisfy their hatred, vengeance, and perverse self-pity, (2 Cor. 5:10.)  Those who sincerely accept the Lord Jesus as the Only Real Answer to everything in life, submit everything to His will in faith, (Rom. 12:1-2.)  They refuse to cherish the sin of self-willed pride, while the majority, who stubbornly choose not to take personal responsibility for anything, completely overlook the fact that the consequences of their bad choices will not only boomerang upon themselves, but also on their children.  Abuse and all other sin severely affects everyone who comes in contact with it, should they choose to accept it: (Jn. 1:12-13.) 

Churches made a dreadful deception of God’s warning in Exodus 20:1-6, by stating that “God ‘curses’ idolaters and ‘all their descendants’ through ‘their cursed inherited bloodline!’  These deceivers melt the truth of God’s Word into the misconceptions of physiology to exonerate abusers with the lie that extremely damaging behavior, which are always personal choices, are transferred through the DNA of people.  But it actually reads, “...I, the Lord your God… VISITS THE INIQUITY of the fathers upon the children to the... fourth generations of those who HATE ME.  But I show mercy to thousands of those who [choose to] LOVE ME [and show it by] keeping My commandments.”  None of those words,  “curses, cursed bloodline, or inherited sin,” are found in this passage.  Ezekiel 18:19 thoroughly clears the matter of “cursed bloodline and inherited sin.”  It declares, “...The son will not bear the guilt of the father, nor the father bear the guilt of the son.  The righteousness of the righteous will be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked upon himself.” 

God does not curse anyone in this passage and a ‘bloodline’ is God’s physical creation, which cannot be cursed, because curses and sin are spiritual and demons use it on a mind-level to bring humanity down, (Jam. 1:16-18.)  God’s words, “the iniquities [of the unrepentant] fathers that visit the children” mean: we all learn by example and will have to face the sins of our fathers, who continued in it because they hate God.  But God gave us the ability to choose to reject all their sin and abuse, and accept His mercy in Christ to love and obey Him, (Ex. 20:5-6.)  So, this passage is all about the consequences of our personal choices that will affect the mindsets of our children, (2 Cor. 10:3-5.) 

God is not a friend of sinners

What we all must realize, is that the Holy Spirit convicts everyone on earth of “sin, [without Jesus,] righteousness, [in Christ] and judgment [for rejecting Him.]”  Absolutely no one will be able to shift their blame for making the wrong choices onto anyone else, (Jn. 16:8-11; 1:12-14.)  Every person who ever lived will have to account for himself, (Ezk. 18:1-19.)  Still, those who chose to accept the “iniquity that visits, [intimidates or lure] them into the sinful ways of their parents, will eventually steadfastly stand by the choice to believe that they are the victims not the abusers.  It is all ‘God’s fault, the fault of abusive parents, and the fault of everyone else.’  Once this horrible lie gets hold of the minds of abusers, unprocessed anger and ruthlessness will mould their behavior.  They then perversely believe, if God can punish them for just being alive, and allow everyone else to do the same, they can just as well do the same and even much worse to other people.  They will decidedly make the unwary and innocent suffer as much as they can. 

¨ Truth is, God does not have favorites among humanity: Acts 10:34.  There is no partiality and darkness in Him.  We never choose to be abused, but we all get the grace to choose what we will do in abusive situations.  “God is no friend of sin!  He has no pleasure in wickedness.  Is God’s love or hatred known by what is before us, [or do we live by faith in this world?]  He is the Righteous Governor of the world!  Who can bid defiance to His justice in His own time and way?” [Commentator unknown.]  This is why the Lord commanded in Revelation 3:11-12, “Behold, I Am coming quickly! Hold fast what you have, [everything that is good and true,] that no one takes you crown,” which is your eternal life.  Life is but ‘a shadow that flees at sunset,’ (Job 14:2.)  We should use our time on earth wisely in the will and leading of the Most High God to glorify Him. “For he who overcomes, [standing in God’s will and obeying His New Testament Covenant commandments through it all,] I will make him a pillar [or support for others] in the [spiritual] temple [of the indwelling Holy Spirit…]  (1 Cor. 3:16-17.) 

¨ What is important to extract from the Truth of God’s Word above, is that the Lord does not crush the free will of anyone.  Free will is a most precious gift from God. That is why He allows evil people to choose the way of Satan and true believers to choose the Way of Life, the Lord Jesus Christ.  He does not save (or change) anyone without their consent.  Even after freely choosing eternal life in the Lord Jesus Christ, believers must then decide to constantly repent from their sin by God’s grace, and to steadily follow the Lord Jesus as His disciples, (Rom. 12:1-2; Jn. 8:12) 

God will not force people to accept or obey Him in this life 

That is why God will not change the mind or behavior of people without their ‘consent,’ (Deut. 30:19-20; Jn. 1:12-13.)  So, to think we humans can change people by any means against their free will, is self-deception. James 1:12-19 explained, “...Let no one say when he is tempted [to sin or  become dishearten in trails, ‘I am forgotten and abused by God.’]  God... does not tempt anyone.  But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires [and allows  circumstances and other people to destroy his faith and trust in God...]  (Rev. 3:11.)  Every good and perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with Whom there is no variation or shadow of turning…”  God declared in Malachi 2:17, “You have wearied the Lord by saying, ‘Everyone who does evil is good in the sight of the Lord.  And He delights in them.  Where is the God of justice?”  Yet, the true context of Bible Scripture states, “God does not take pleasure in wickedness.  Evil cannot dwell with Him.  The boastful cannot stand in His sight.  He hates all workers of iniquity.  He will destroy those who speak falsehoodThe Lord abhors the bloodthirsty and deceitful man.  But as for me, let me come into His presence in the multitude of His mercies.  [Father,] let me fear You and worship You.  Lead me, o Lord, in Your righteousness because of my enemies.  Make Your Way straight before my face.  [True to their choices,] there is no faithfulness in their mouths.  Their inward part is destruction.  Their throats are open tombs…” 

Conclusion: One thing we must realize and never forget.  On the following immovable, Scriptural fact stands the survival of everyone that is trampled upon.  God gave every creature, humans especially, a free will to choose under all circumstances what they want to do.  Even under unbearable oppression, humans have the choice to trust God or to turn against Him.  God might not crush the free will of thieves, liars, and murderers, but whatever they do is still under His control.  He even set boundaries for the mighty sea so that the furious waves will not destroy everything on land, (Prov. 8:29-30.) 

¨ As we will see in this study, Jesus made it clear that continual, deliberate, and unrepentant abuse or cowardice bullying is not just a mistake, a wrong remark, a joke, words said in anger because of severe provocation, or a thoughtless offense such as standing on someone’s toes, of which we are all sometimes guilty, (Jam. 3:2; 1 Jn. 2:1-11.)  God declared in 1 John 1:8-10, “If we say we have not sinned, [even if we unintentionally stumbled and especially when we deliberately abused others,] we make God a liar, and His Word is not in us.” 

¨ Intolerable traumatic crimes, (deeply distressing experiences,) reveal themselves in sudden attacks from those who were supposed to protect us, but also from strangers.  Still, known abusers such as parents, spouses, siblings, and family members traumatize people the most through verbal abuse, violence, rape, molestation, adultery, etcetera, which then develop into an unbearable, chronic condition that occurs repeatedly and persists in marriages, workplaces, religious congregations and other long-term relationships.  Usually, such abusive behavior only stops at the death of the unrepentant controller, while the damages done and the consequences of their hatred for innocents can live on in the emotions and lives of the abused!  Though it might seem as if abusers ‘get away with it,’ we can be certain that God will deal with them.  Yet, if dreadfully abused people do not turn to God, they might suffer indefinitely. 

¨ Here is God’s explanation of why He allows suffering in this world.  2 Corinthians 1:3-11, “Blessed be our God and Father… The God of mercies and all comfort, Who comforts us in all our tribulation that we may be able to comfort those who are in trouble, with the comfort which we ourselves are comforted by God.  For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, [which can only come from the outside because true believers have the Spirit of Christ living in them,] so our consolation also abounds through Christ.  Now if we are afflicted, it is for our consolation and salvation, which is effective for enduring the same sufferings which [believers globally] suffer…”  (1 Cor. 3:16-17.) 

Abuse of the vital Context makes Truth into a lie 

Troublemaking manipulators and bullies do not only lie unashamedly.  Just as their lying father the devil, (Jn. 8:44,) they deliberately contort and misinterpret specific situations, misinterpret the meaning of words, and the context of facts and conversations; effectively making truth into dangerous lies to cause torment and trouble for the abused.  Everything that is evil comes from the devil.  Yet, he can also do a lot of ‘good’ if he so chooses, because he builds his evil ways on hypocrisy and deception.  Being the self-corrupted entity that he is, the devil does nothing for good without turning it into bad.  And this is exactly how his double-minded disciples of darkness choose to lead their secretive, double lives in this world. 

ABUSE IS A TWO-WAY STREET    

When the abused are defenseless little children before the age of accountability and helpless animals, the problem of surrendering to mindless torture cannot enter the scene.  However, the abused must realize that abusers as well as vengeful victims turned abusers, are all unscrupulous narcissists, (lovers of themselves,) who command unconditional submission to their spiteful afflictions.  ‘Narcissism’ is typified by a personality disorder where, in their self-adoring minds, they completely overestimate their own looks, intellect, power, wealth, social status, and their ‘good’  works.  Narcissists arrogantly place themselves on a ‘higher’ creation level than other people, whom they dehumanize as ‘lesser’ beings.  To function in society, narcissists require the slavish admiration of the so-called ‘lesser’ members of their families and societies, which must continually “feed” their grandiosity with undivided attention and glorification. 

So, domination and submission; power and helplessness; control and compliance are therefore counter-sides of the same evil coin of abuse. This applies to all forms of abuse — the abuse of vengeful victims turned passive aggressors too!  An abuser can never function without a victim to dominate and control; while a victim can never suffer – and continue to suffer, without the domination and control of an unrelenting abuser.

Once the abuser stops the abuse, the victim, in essence, is free, and can begin to heal from the wounds of abuse God's Way.  Yet, there is never a guarantee that abusers will stop their abuse.  Most abusers are so set in their ways they only grow worse over time as they systematically strengthen the nooses around the necks of the abused.  They thrive on the ‘powerful’ belief that victims have absolutely no way of escape.  So, the abused, either unknowingly or knowingly, choose to keep on fixating on abusers; effectively choosing to keep themselves in bondage them, even if they do have a way of escape.  But  Jesus’ Moral Law commanded the abused to sever themselves from death and darkness as far as possible. 

 

ABUSIVE CONTROL CAN BE HIGHLY ADDICTIVE 

Let us not fool ourselves.  Abusers are spiritually and mentally disturbed, but highly intelligent, persuasive people, who pretend most convincingly that they are nice and perfectly normal.  In addition, let us not overlook the fact that to live under the escalating indoctrination, devaluation, and oppression of abusers, affect their victims in terrible ways. 

As seen, Stockholm Syndrome is a term used for the mental disorder that shapes the beliefs and behavior of those, who were blinded by the so-called “goodness” of their abusers, to idolize them as “loving, caring, and kind.”  However, the “good” part of the abuser is a complete farce.  The cruel, controlling, thieving, lying, adulterating, violent manipulator and child molester is the real person!  Abusers are expert male and female con artists.  Everything about them is a pretence.  They are exactly like the Pharisees, whom Jesus said, are  “whitewashed” graves that look beautiful outwardly, but are filled with [toxic, stinking,] dead bones that nobody sees, (Mt. 23:27.) 

Stockholm Syndrome is similar to “trauma bonding.”  Abusers use both these sadistic, psychological, mind-altering processes to distort the truth and reality about them and everything else.  As per the example at the beginning of this study, that most evil “gentleman” actually never married his good wife as he was adulterating since their engagement, although he kept up the façade of the ‘perfect husband’ for nearly a whole lifetime while leading a completely double life.  The same happened when he supposedly ‘gave his life to Jesus.’  He prayed, praised, ministered, and sat at the Lord’s table without ever cleaning out the ‘stinking, dead bones’ in his heart, soul, and life. His wife had no way of knowing that the agenda of abusers is to make victims see abuse as love and abusers as good, etcetera.  She “instinctively” began to realize there was something dreadfully wrong with him.  However, he so cleverly deflected all her concerns, (directed attention away from the issue to something else,) to cover everything with secrecy and lies, she had no other choice but to keep on living with him.  Naturally, she kept on praying he would truly repent — without any change ever occurring in him, as he chose to be incessantly evil.  God has a “million” ways to deal with unrepentant people, but He will not take His gift of free will away from anyone.  That is why hard-hearted criminals who choose their sin, always remain non-responsive. 

 

Not all traumatized people and animals “bond” with their abusers.  Trauma bonding and Stockholm Syndrome are phenomena that victims manifest to “cope” with constant abuse.  Such spiritual and emotional blindness, and deranged loyalties overcome most, if not all, chronically abused people to lead them down the proverbial rabbit hole of bondage to psychopathic people and their brilliant tricks.  These conditions duplicate addiction to drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, etcetera.  Such victims are dependent on the distorted “excitement” of abuse and the perceived “goodness” of abusers.   A life of “submit or perish” became their “new normal.”  This is a catastrophic condition where people believe they cannot live without a substance such as alcohol - or they cannot live without their abusers’ so-called “goodness” to them.  As a defense mechanism, they tolerate the abuse and form their own fuzzy ‘facts’ about “love and care,” to justify why they endure such destructive behavior.  The goal of all these confusing mind games, is so abusers can actually “think” for the abused and through total control, define their thoughts, truth, and reality. 

   

Abusers always force victims to believe the abuse ‘never happened’ or ‘wasn’t that bad.’  So, unless the abused face the truth about their abusers and the reality of the abuse, they will always yearn and strive for their so-called ‘acceptance, affection, and protection,’ (even to the extent of patterning their own characters and abusive deeds after that of their tormentors,) while in reality, they will never be able to get what they desire, no matter how well they protect and follow the evil characters and ways of their abusers.  This is why battered wives hysterically attack the police when a neighbor calls in a case of domestic violence.  Most often, abuse-dependent victims fiercely defend their abusers, aiding abusers in their satanic works; spreading and repeating their manipulative lies, and justifying and minimizing their incredibly destructive sins!  For instance, a deceived and also abusing mother claimed, “How can you say he abused you all your life and never showed you fatherly love?  He was just a very determined person and demanded complete obedience; everyone knew him like that, that’s just the way he was!” 

What she suffered and also manifested, is a clear case of constant mind-control and raw physical abuse that turned into admiration, because co-dependent victims of abuse secretly believe they will never be able to survive without their oppressors.  Also, because of constant shaming and guilting, (brainwashing victims to believe it is a shame to speak out against the abuser and tell the truth, as it is actually all the victims’ fault not the abusers,’) they choose to either ignore or glorify their abusers instead of exposing them for the good of society as God commanded in Ephesians 5:11. 

Such misplaced idolizing of evil people and the cover-up of their evil deeds, usually keep on escalating in the minds of the abused long after their abusers’ death; mounting to even the violent protection of those sadistic satanists, who never surrendered to God to obey His Moral Law of Love.  They say things like, “No one dares to say a word about him (or her!)  He (or she) is dead — how evil are you to dig up the past; have you no respect for the dead?  Leave him (or her) alone!  What he (or she) did or did not do has nothing to do with you or anyone else!”  Or:  “I cannot laugh out loud, buy new clothes, or tell the truth about what he/she did, because he/she is watching me from the other side…”  In fact, the “dead [are truly gone and] know nothing about what is going on in life,” (Prov. 9:5-6.) 

 

If victims allow the demonic control of Trauma Bonding or Stockholm Syndrome to enter their minds, they actually help abusers to accomplish the complete distortion of God’s inward Moral Law that must guide all people — our “conscience;” “discernment” between right and wrong or truth and lie; our “gut feeling” or “knowing,” where the Holy Spirit speaks, (Jn. 16:8-11.)  Constantly quieting or overriding these “markers,” which are the grace of God to stay in the truth, boil down to His warning in Isa. 5:20, “Woe to those who call evil good and good evil. Who put darkness for light and light for darkness.  Who put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!”  That is why such distortion of facts, reality, and God’s Moral Law invite ever deepening deception. 

What’s more, victims of abuse usually suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, which some soldiers, other traumatized people, and even abused animals that experienced terrifying events, face.  The most common symptoms of PTSD  are anxiety, nightmares, and flashbacks.  People suffering from PTSD must take themselves, their whole lives, the situation, and those demented bullies directly to the throne of Jesus.  They must pour out everything in prayer, ask healing, and give forgiveness.  That does not mean they say that the abuse was (or is) okay.  It means they surrender their abusers into the hands of the Righteous Judge of the universe, the Lord Jesus Christ, and deny themselves all hatred and vengeance.  The best self-help therapy is then to prayerfully research their problems to understand, and to get to terms with the nature and mechanisms of the abuse and abusers.  If necessary, they may seek counseling from Godly, informed believers.  Jesus said we will know the truth (of His Word, abusers, the situation, and ourselves,) and the Truth will set us free. 

 

The frog-experiment demonstrates how brilliant abusers such as narcissists implement psychological enslavement 

In addition to co-dependency on abusers through trauma-bonding, the process of addiction to spiritual, emotional, and physical abuse is well-illustrated by the experiment with the frog, which would immediately jump out of the pot when it is placed in hot water, while it would sit in the water and slowly cook to death if the water is gradually heated. 

By slowly escalating the abuse, abusers gradually immerse their victims into compliance and passivity.  Over time, abusers cleverly brainwash their victims through physical and psychological torture such as “gaslighting” to distort their perception of reality.  “Gaslighting” means to undermine the sober-mindedness of the abused by constantly confusing truth and reality to totally confuse, disorientate, and disempower them. The aim of such mind games is to make the abused doubt themselves, their self-worth, their actual role in the situation, (are they really the guilty party or not,) and their sanity.  Once victims accept these false narratives for their lives, those beasts skillfully manipulate them into submission to, and acceptance of their sin and lies, to drag them down into their sewerage holes of hidden filth and satanic control. 

Without the submission, ignorance, denial, and self-deception of the abused, abusers cannot effectively control them.  However, as long as they remain oblivious to the reality of the abuse, overlook or minimizes the severity and extent of the abuse, or refuse to see abusers for who they really are, and what they were (and are) really doing, the abused will remain under their expanding control

It is no wonder that Jesus said, “You will know the truth [about His Word and our circumstances,] and the truth will set you free.”  Sadly, many victims choose to live in denial rather than to face the disruptive, destroying facts.  This is so because, among other important things, abusers destroy their independence, will to survive, self-worth, and logic thinking.  For instance, it is really difficult and heart-breaking to see that drunken dad for the dirty, lazy, rude, aggressive wife and child beater, and sponger that he really is (or was.)  It is easier to think of alcoholism as an “illness;” believing that he (or she) was a helpless by-product of a sick society, oppressing family, or political system.  Searching for excuses to blame the alcohol, drugs, and everyone else that could have been even remotely involved, instead of taking a long, hard look at the abuser behind the bottle or the molestation, is not always easy.  Still, it is the only way to break free from Satan’s enslavement to abusers, who have no absolutely no empathy for their victims, because they lack moral conscience.  

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