THE STRUGGLES OF PEOPLE WHO WERE SEXUALLY ABUSED ARE MULTIFOLD
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The study of human behavior, as also found in psychology but not so much in psychiatry, is the crux of this article; confirmed and guided by the never-changing, Scriptural Word of the Lord Jesus Christ. Nevertheless, as many psychologists also use psychiatry in their “talk therapy,” one must be careful to “test and prove everything to see if it is from God,” (1 Ths. 5:21-22.) Additionally, where the word “victim” is used, it does not mean a “victim mentality that merely seeks sympathy” or anything similar. It factually refers to the true “injured parties,” “fatalities,” or “casualties” of barnyard bullies, narcissists, psychopaths, child molesters, rapists, and other sadists.
REVISED AND EXPANDED FACEBOOK POST, SEPTEMBER 13, 2019
I am for all abused people; especially those who were abused from childhood, those who suffered grave trauma, and those who have no physical means to escape the terrible oppression of destroyers. The abused usually continue to suffer under the multilevel oppression of sadistic butchers, who would never have been able to continue the abuse if they regretted even a single sin. Trauma and abuse never effect only one part of the victim. It comes from the spirit world onto the body and into the mind, from where it flows to every part of the victim’s life — if the person does not timeously take logic control of his or her thoughts and reactions. This is why I tell God’s Truth to those who suffered abuse. Only The Truth of Jesus’ Word, the situation, the perpetrator, and ourselves can set us free, (Jn. 8:31-32 KJV.) We can all take heart by knowing; even when God does not change our bad circumstances, we must keep on following Him, because “all things will work together for good to those who love God…” Jesus actually changes us to “overcome” all evil by teaching us to mature our characters by growing intellectually and emotionally, (Rom. 8:28.) Even when Joseph’s brothers sold him into slavery to Egypt, he could say to them in the end, “[Do not be afraid of me,] because I am in the place of God…. You meant evil against me, but God meant it for good…” (Gen. 50:19-20.)
Maturing our characters is always a painful process. “Although Jesus was [God Himself in the flesh of a mere man,] He learned obedience from what He suffered,” (Heb. 5:8.) Wholehearted, Scriptural salvation in Jesus is complete spiritual redemption from darkness, (Colossians 2:9-10,) and thus it dissolves a multitude of spiritual problems. Yet, the harsh finger marks of abusers are not easily erased from the souls (or minds) of the abused, as Jesus requires the “transformation” of our thoughts and beliefs to change us on a soulical or “mind” level, (Rom. 12:1-2; 1 Ths. 5:23.)
Nothing but God-given Truth can deliver us from the “strongholds in our minds” that define our memories, feelings, and actions, (2 Cor. 10:3-5.) After our salvation in Christ, the continual “battle” we all face is for our thoughts and beliefs, which can lead us astray and make our lives a misery that continue long after the abuse has stopped, (Jam. 1:13-18.) So, let us forget so-called “instant church deliverance.” Their Christianized occult teachings and practices only open up the abused to greater demonic control and harassment. The complications of sexual and other abuse are complex and too dangerous to play with God and His Word like they do. It is an immovable fact that doctors and other medical workers of all sorts can alleviate symptoms, but only the Lord Jesus Christ Himself is our Healer on all levels of life, (Isa. 53:3-5.)
¨ The following is shocking but liberating truth. Sexual immorality is one of the main roots of abuse, as it causes great spiritual, emotional, and physical disturbances in the lives of the innocent and helpless. While on death row, the narcissist-psychopath serial killer Ted Bundy said in an interview, “All the violent offenders I met in prison, just like me, without question or exception, every one of them was deeply involved, influenced, addicted, and consumed by pornography…” Serial murders probably started with child molestation and watching porn afterward, and ended in the brutal murder of unknown numbers of women, children, and men. This is because the extreme physical and emotional trauma of sexual abuse is terrible in itself, but it’s spiritual implications are greater than anything else, as those who were joined to [male or female] harlots become one body, [soul or mind, and spirit] with [them,] while they must be “one spirit with the Lord,” (1 Cor. 3:16-17; 6:15-20.) This proves that sexual abuse is extremely destructive.
¨ The devil hates all innocence, holiness, and goodness because he hates God and His wonderful creation. The more he can violate the bodies, souls, and spirits of humans, the easier they become his instruments to obliterate everyone else they can lay their hands on, (1 Ths. 5:23.) Thus, through corrupt family, friends, and acquaintances, he recruits those who chose to be swallowed by abuse and other addictions, because they do not respect their own bodies that were created in the image of God, (Jn. 1:12-13.) Hence, in Satan’s attempt to desecrate everyone and everything that God created, one cannot begin to imagine how many evil spirits are transferred and so-called ‘soul ties’ or actually, trauma and treason bonds are enforced through Sexual Immorality and his companion Unbound Violence, (Heb. 4:12.)
¨ It is no coincidence that the notorious serial killer Ted Bundy disclosed that violence [and all other forms of cruelty such as covert narcissism,] accompany sexual crimes. God rebuked the fornicating, adulterating priesthood of Old Israel as follows in Malachi 2:13-16, “I am witness between you and the wife of your youth, with whom you dealt treacherously, [by divorcing and cheating on your good] wives to take pagan women, [who mostly do not have qualms about fornication or pornography, which people now watch as entertainment: Malachi 2:11.] Yet, she is your companion and wife by covenant… [And I hate your fornication and adultery that result in divorce, Matthew 19:9,] as it covers your garments with violence…” God was speaking about their priestly attire, which symbolized their holy position and morals in Him. But once sexual crimes desecrate the human body, soul, and spirit, Satan’s ruin through violence on all levels of life follows. So, where there is violence (and other desecrations such as alcohol abuse and drug addiction) in a home, we can know there are fornication and adultery behind the scenes. If someone has sex with anyone other than his or her spouse, it instantly breaks the holy marriage covenant between one husband and one wife, opens the whole family to the abuse of many demons, and tears them apart, (Mt. 19:1-9.) Thus, it is no wonder that children who were raised in such satanic brokenness can suffer, (and also choose to make others suffer,) for the rest of their natural lives.
While sexual immorality is always detrimental, what is more devastating is the trend of many victims of sex crimes and violence, (covert violence too,) to watch pornography and practise those exploitation and addictions, which demolished their own lives. The truth which can set them free is that everything we do is a personal choice. In every bad situation, we can choose to rebel against God, or we can choose to obey Jesus’ Word and be delivered from evil.
The first step to freedom in Jesus, is to understand how dreadfully serious all kinds of sexual and other abuse are. The trauma which abused people suffer is really terrible, although most cultures tend to make light of it all. Understating the devastating effects of trauma clarifies many of the issues the abused suffer after the event. Thus, I also believe it is necessary for them to “go back” without the motive of reminiscing over it in a self-destructive way, so they can begin to understand and come to terms with the real cause and extent of the abuse. E.g., various health issues, unresolved anger, “low self-esteem,” passive aggression, narcissism, memory loss, anxiety attacks and other phobias, confusion, “attention deficit,” depression, etcetera, are usually caused by the past and ongoing emotional and physical stress of brutal attacks, harassment, terrorizing, and sabotaging from other people.
According to the type, extent, severity, and the length of the abuse, and whether violence, rape, child molestation, homosexuality, incest, bestiality, oral and anal sex, (fellatio,) prostitution, and other types of unnatural intercourse were involved or not, the abused can also be overwhelmed by the fear of sex, (gynophobia,) hyper sexuality, (hyperphilla,) homosexual tendencies, etcetera. Besides being trauma and treason bonded to their abusers and suffering from Stockholm Syndrome, (yearning for the acceptance and love of their abusers and revering and defending them even after they died,) suffering from post traumatic stress such as nightmares, (which is the attempt of the logic mind to understand and “decompose” what was done to the person,) demonic crimes also open up the harassment from demons, including sex with male incubus and so-called succubus female spirits, which can turn their nights into filth and terror, (Gen. 6:1-6.)
¨ Because the best “defence” of abusers is offence, they always fiercely pretend to be the victims. So, whether the real abused “overcame” the above mentioned and other afflictions to move emotionally to a place of acceptance and peace or not, they must realize that they, and not their blame-shifting abusers, were the innocent victims. The abuse of other people was way beyond their control. So, self-blame, self-hatred, and despair that can even result in suicide are totally uncalled for. “None of us could know what we did not know.” It is a fundamental part of our healing in Christ to forgive ourselves for our gullible trust, blind love, and the futile forgiveness of abusers such as narcissist parents and spouses. We must let go of our guilt over the wrong choices we made, especially those we made in early life. As we are in the School of the Holy Spirit until He comes to take us to our eternal home, life as a whole is a learning curve. It is useless to cut ourselves for things we had no inkling about, did not expect, gullibly invited, ignorantly planned, or even willingly participated in, (Lev. 19:28.) And when we speak of destructive trauma that befell us without invitation, we must come to the realization that God always has a good reason why He allows bad things to happen to innocent people. It is natural that traumatized people will grapple with the question why God did not intervene beforehand. This is where our trust in the omniscience of God comes into play. In time we will understand why. But for now, it is enough to know that the trauma could have killed us, or destroyed our minds, etcetera. The fact that it did not do more harm, means God was in control and He will truly “work all things together for good for those who love Him,” (Rom. 8:28.)
The second step to freedom in Christ is to understand how 1) God views unrepentant abusers, 2) who those that commit such vile acts really are, 3) as well as the sins of abusers that entangle the abused in their evil. As the following Scriptural principles of God are unchangeable, we all need to intensely desire and search for God’s contextual, Scriptural Light, to reveal to us the truth that will set us free in combination with our obedience to His Word, (Jn. 1:1-13.)
1. The abused must realize that God gave us all a free will; He will never save or change anyone against their will, (Deut. 30:19; Jn. 1:12-13.) If abusers reject Jesus and His True Word, there is nothing we can do to change them. We can only change ourselves by our own decision to obediently follow Jesus, and to abandoning darkness such as arguing and fighting with them to resolve the bad situation, as that only feed the evil of abusers. God commanded believers to shun unrepentant people no matter who they are. If we love “father, mother, [spouse, children, etcetera,] more than Jesus [by submitting to their evil,] we are not worthy to be His disciples,” (Mt. 10:37.) Accordingly, He commanded in Proverbs 22:10 KJV, “Cast out the scoffer and contention will leave. Yes, strive and reproach will cease!”
2. So, it is vital that the abused not only understand the truth about their futile expectations to resolve the suffering, they must also realize who abusers really were or are. E.g., abuse come directly from Satan, but it works through unrepentant people with debased minds who deliberately choose to remain unchangeable, (2 Cor. 10:3-5.) As long as the abused see their tormenters as people with “good hearts,” they will always remain enslaved to them, the abuse itself, and the consequences thereof. Jesus said in Matthew 15:19, “Out of the [unregenerated, unbelieving] heart comes… murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, lies, slander…” And He declared in Romans 3:9-18, “There is none righteous [if he does not live sincerely in Jesus...] The Way of Peace they do not know, and there is no fear of God before their eyes,” (Rom. 3:9-18.) It is only when the abused identify the real nature of their abusers, that it will become easier for them, by God’s grace, to shake off their suffering and follow a clean, holy lifestyle in Jesus, (Rom. 12:1-2.) In this way, although they are spiritually already “complete in Him,” true believers will intellectually and emotionally begin to move forward into His full, encircling Light, or character maturity, (Col. 2:9-10; Pt. 3:18.)
3. “Do not be deceived, evil company corrupts good morals [and habits.] Awake to righteousness and do not [allow others that lead you into] sin...” (1 Cor. 15:33-34.) So, as seen in Proverbs 22:10, the abused must radically stop to “enable” unrepentant abusers by either fleeing physically from them if possible, and/or by rejecting them and all their filth by exposing them once they, (the abused,) understand the severity of it all. Those who turn love into abuse are haters and emotional and physical murderers, not lovers! (1 Jn. 3:14-15.) Do not believe, justify, or accept their manipulation, excuses, false promises, and lies. Stick with what Jesus said. We shall know them by their fruit or constant behavior! A “bad tree” or those who “speak lies in hypocrisy had their consciences sheared” and cannot bear good fruit, (Mt. 7:16-20; 1 Tim. 4:2!) In John 8:44, Jesus called them Satanists; saying, “You are of your father the devil as his will you [choose] to do. He was a murderer from the beginning and… is the father of lies.” If nothing “works” with abusers, we must see them as dangerous, immoral psychopaths without a conscience, (2 Timothy 3:1-9.)
THERE IS NO SUCH THING IN THE BIBLE THAT CLERGIES CAN SEND WIVES (OR HUSBANDS) BACK TO LIVE UNDER THE DECEPTION, ADULTERY, AND VIOLENCE OF THEIR ABUSING SPOUSES! THE SAME GOES FOR ABUSED CHILDREN AND THEIR PARENTS. In reality, clergies and the abused themselves, if they are capable, must follow Jesus’ disciplinary steps in Matthew 18:15-20 as far as possible to deal with unrepentant maniacs. In accordance, Paul testified in Galatians 2:5 that “we must not yield submission [to deceivers, thieves, murderers, torturers, and destroyers] for even an hour, that the Truth of the Gospel [and all other things] might continue in us.” If the abused submit to abusers and accept their lies, they surrender their minds or souls to dangerous Satanists to mess with them as they please, (John 8:44!) All types of abusers “are slaves of corruption; for by whom a person is overcome, he is brought into bondage,” (2 Pt. 2:19.)
¨ Furthermore, when we stand before God, we will not be able to blame anyone for our decisions and sin. So, the abused must never believe or accept the blame-shifting of abusers to exonerate themselves in their own eyes. “The sins of [abusers to make their victims suffer] are their own.” And the truly legitimate sins of the abused when they also violate God’s inward Moral Law are their own.
¨ That is not to say they must not be angry with abusers. Anger is a natural emotion that must also be ‘decomposed’ by logic thoughts, understanding the facts of the whole situation, and submitting to the Truth of God’s Word. So, while anger over unrepentant sin is natural, victims of abuse must not hold on to anger, but deal with it according to the precepts of God’s Moral Law. God warned, “The one who sins [is the one that] will die. The son will not bear the punishment for the sin of the father,” and vise versa, (Luke 17:1-3; Ezk. 18:20.) Forgiveness “from the heart” comes when the abused make a firm decision to forgive their abusers by “letting go of them” by placing them and everything they have done prayerfully in God’s righteous hands. This is not necessarily accompanied by a good feeling or any other emotion. In fact, it is impossible for mere humans to forgive and let go of gross, unrepentant abuse without surrendering it all to God, and asking and allowing Him to take over and give them peace and joy under all circumstances. As abuse comes from the spirit world, so true forgiveness must come from God’s throne of light and life. The more we refuse to hate and take vengeance and the longer we kneel in prayer to seek God’s mercy and grace, the less chance there will be that we will hate and [get] our hands full of blood, (Isa. 59:2-5.)
It is necessary to understand that the abused, (under the constant pressure and brainwashing of abusers who tried their utmost to define the reality of their victims with their incessant and cruel mind-games,) can easily become abusers themselves. In the hands of abusers and also through the lingering thoughts and beliefs they ingrained in the minds of their victims, the abused can heap up more problems for themselves by gravitating towards the things they loathe. For instance, because so many abused people were programmed to commit things like sex with blood family and extended family, (King Herod beheaded John the Baptist because he warned that it is incest to have sexual relations with your brother’s wife, Leviticus 18:16; Mark 6:17-29,) sexual crimes against people can lead the abused deeper into darkness by turning them into family and other abusers themselves. If fellatio or oral sex is practiced even in marriage, or watching and participating in pornography and whatever else perverts God’s creation principles, it will extend the addiction to adultery and violence, because the abused then continue to slide deeper into the devil’s clutches after the initial onslaught on their innocence, minds, bodies, and lives.
¨ What we see from all this is that the struggles to be healed from the far-reaching consequences of trauma and abuse are complicated. Unless the abused submit completely to God and “renew or transform their minds,” (thoughts, beliefs, intellect, and emotions,) to understand the Scriptural truth of what is described in this article, they might never be able to distance themselves from abusers and the abuse itself. Paul taught that all believers must “CAST DOWN the strongholds” of the devil, which demoniacs of all sorts have erected in our “minds,” (Rom. 12:1-2; 2 Cor. 10:3-5.) Thus, the abused must check their own “mind sets” and behaviors to see what sins they were addicted to during their awful encounters with demoniacs. Consulting our Father in heaven during the whole process is most important. Only the Lord Jesus Christ has the power to give broken and confused people the insight, wisdom, Scriptural obedience, and the Holy Spirit’s leading to cast down all the sins that might keep their “minds” in bondage to their abusers. Lingering anger, decided unforgiveness, and thoughts of vengeance are just three pitfalls that the devil designed for abused people. Victims of trauma and abuse must squash those sins the moment they enter their minds. Then, they must continually take the battle to overcome it all directly to the throne of Jesus where they must release their abusers into His righteous hands. This is most probably a process and not an instant thing. But persevering in the grace and Truth of God’s Word will definitely bring victory and healing to all those who sincerely seek God’s face.
¨ Because sin and sexual sin in particular are so strong and addictive, Jesus forbade us all to play with sinful thoughts, lust, and other unholy desires. Once sinful “desire is conceived [or accepted,] it gives birth to [deeds of] sin, [which brings forth] death,” (James 1:13-18.) The act of lust especially, completely unites the perpetrator with the other harlot, (1 Cor. 6:15-20,) while other sins that get stuck in the minds of the abused actually does the same on an emotional level. In His mercy, Jesus also gave us the only real cure for demonic illness when He commanded, “If your eye, hand, or foot causes you to stumble, pluck it out or cut it off and cast it from you. It is more profitable for you that one of your members perishes, than for your whole body to be cast into hell,” (Mt. 5:30.)
In other words, rather mutilate yourself emotionally and cut off dear feelings and relationships than to fall into, or remain in sexual and other sin. There is absolutely no other way to overcome sin and its dangerous repercussions, other than to drastically refuse it and then decidedly repent or flee from it with all our might. For instance, sexual sin can only be “overcome” by refusing to “look,” “stare,” or “search” for it by flirting and peeking at potential sex partners. (I call this dehumanizing sin Playing Meerkat.) Thus, Paul commanded in 1 Corinthians 6:18, “Flee sexual immorality…” And in 1 Corinthians 5:9, “Do not keep company with sexually immoral people… [as that will certainly be your downfall.]”
¨ Those who sincerely seek “deliverance” cannot go to someone else to take control of their lives like so-called ‘deliverers’ or exorcists claim they can do. The addiction to and the effects of sin can only be dealt with by the person it oppresses. Of course we may seek ‘help’ from other true believers by ‘venting’ the problem, etcetera, but we must only rely on Jesus; the Redeemer, Comforter, and Healer.
¨ As all other believers, those who are addicted to pornography and other sin, (abusers as well as victims who struggle with the consequences of abuse that were caused by trauma and treason,) must eradicate the strongholds in their “minds” and lives by sincerely confessing it in detail and by name to God and their victims, (Mt. 5:21-26; James 5:15-18.) Molested, raped, assaulted, betrayed, and other abused people need to receive sincere regret and full confessions from their abusers to understand what they have to deal with, so that they can figure out and overcome the demolition that was caused in their lives. If abusers refuse that or if they cannot be involved in the process, the abused must work it through by surrendering it all to God. But when perpetrators seek forgiveness and reconciliation, they must know that forgiveness can never be loosened from repentance. No relationship can be constructed on dirty, malicious secrets, cruel manipulation, twisted facts, constant lies, and empty promises, (1 John 1:8-10; Isa. 1:18; Luke 17:1-3; Mt. 18:15-20.) Abusers must also realize that all forms of abusive behavior are extremely selfish. Perpetrators must take full responsibility for the mostly unspoken struggles of innocent victims; spouses especially, who are hardly ever mentioned when dealing with the sins of child molesters, fornicators, violent oppressors, and adulterers.