THE STRUGGLES OF PEOPLE WHO WERE SEXUALLY ABUSED ARE MULTIFOLD
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The study of human behavior, as also found in psychology but not so much in psychiatry, is the crux of this article; confirmed and guided by the never-changing, Scriptural Word of the Lord Jesus Christ. Nevertheless, as many psychologists also use psychiatry in their “talk therapy,” one must be careful to “test and prove everything to see if it is from God,” (1 Ths. 5:21-22.) Additionally, where the word “victim” is used, it does not mean a “victim mentality that merely seeks sympathy” or anything similar. It factually refers to the true “injured parties,” “fatalities,” or “casualties” of barnyard bullies, narcissists, psychopaths, and other sadists.
AN INTERESTING INSERT BY CANADIAN PROFESSOR JORDAN PETERSON ON ‘DEALING WITH TRAUMA’
(As seen above, I do not recommend psychology as a whole, but this makes sense and contains the crux of understanding trauma and our reaction to it, which rests on God’s will and commandment to see abusers and ourselves also from a behavioral viewpoint in order to follow Jesus to freedom.)
Professor Peterson said in an interview, “How do you see what [was done to you?] Do you see it as [benign?] You need an explanation. How could he [or she] do that? If you see him [or her] just as a bad person, you [actually] need to see him [or her] as evil. You have to understand [the nature of the person] so that you are no longer a victim of it! Otherwise you cannot put the events in context. You need to [simplify it all to make sense of it, as confusion is one of the main effects of trauma.] Then you can separate hatred from kindness. Otherwise you are afraid of any kind of relationship now because you are contaminated with that. Everything is foggy and fuzzy. You need at least to some degree [understand it] so you can separate that person from all the other people that you encounter in situations that are reminiscent of that.
So you felt vulnerable throughout it all. You are self-ashamed [and blame yourself.] All that must be taken apart. What are the lessons you must learn? What did you think when that happened? If it still bothers you, it’s still emotional resonance. Write it out if it happened more than 18 months ago. You haven’t decomposed that experience effectively to detach it from your emotions. When something terrible is done to you, you don’t understand it.
You might understand things in stages. The first way to understand is to freeze in terror or run. It’s not conceptual. It’s embodied in emotion. You will want to prevent terror reoccurring. Then, later, you must get out of the terror. You [must] realize it’s in the past. Nothing truly dangerous is happening now. But something truly dangerous did happen! Then you elaborate your [thoughts on] the world to where you are no longer vulnerable to that terrible thing.
It’s really difficult. The memory of something terrible stays terrible until you effort-fully process it and decompose it until you see a much more understandable map of the world. It’s hard to do that.
Reoccurring emotional pain defined: if you lay out a desire in the world and it doesn’t manifest. What does it mean? You didn’t know how to master that place and time. Maybe you didn’t know how to socialize with people properly [or handle a situation] and now you're afraid of people. So, the thoughts always come back on how you were bullied in school, etcetera, because the “systems” that produce anxiety are regarding your inability to perceive it as a threat. It’s saying, “Here’s a treat! Threat! Threat!” Its an alarm system. You must say, “How did all that [bullying or whatever trauma] came about? What, if anything, did I do to make myself vulnerable? Or what situation might make me vulnerable? How should I interpret that to change my perceptions and actions so it isn’t likely to happen in the future?”
The purpose of memory is not to represent the past. No, it is to stop you from doing the things over and over! So, the future is better than the past. [That is why we must, in time, learn to rather focus on the future.] If you live in the past and play it over and over in your mind, you are stuck back there in some ways. You haven’t seen the situation or the experience for everything it could teach you. Trauma let your body react, then your emotions [set in,] and then you think about it. If you don’t get past your body and emotions, it never gets processed. You got to go back, [as explained at the beginning of this conversation.] It’s stuck as an experience of terror. You have to realize people are [inherently evil. Don’t see everyone as good.] And that’s a rough thing to learn. But you better learn it because you must orient yourself in the world properly.”
REVISED AND EXPANDED FACEBOOK POST, SEPTEMBER 13, 2019
I am for all abused people; especially those who were abused from childhood and those who have no physical means to escape the terrible trauma of destroyers. In both cases, the abused continue to suffer under the multilevel oppression of sadistic butchers. This is why I tell them God’s truth that can set them free. They can take heart by knowing; even when God does not change our bad circumstances, we must keep on following Him, because “all things will work together for good to those who love God…” Jesus actually changes us to “overcome” all evil by teaching us to mature our characters by growing intellectually and emotionally, (Rom. 8:28.) Even when Joseph’s brothers sold him into slavery to Egypt, he could say to them in the end, “[Do not be afraid of me,] because I am in the place of God…. You meant evil against me, but God meant it for good…” (Gen. 50:19-20.) Maturing our characters is always a painful process. “Although Jesus was [God Himself in the flesh of a mere man,] He learned obedience from what He suffered,” (Heb. 5:8.) Wholehearted, Scriptural salvation in Jesus is complete spiritual redemption from darkness, (Colossians 2:9-10,) and thus it dissolves a multitude of spiritual problems, but the harsh finger marks of abusers are not easily erased from the souls (or minds) of the abused, as Jesus requires the “transformation” of our thoughts and beliefs to change us on a soulical or “mind” level, (Rom. 12:1-2; 1 Ths. 5:23.) He promised in John 8:31-32, “If you abide in My Word, you are My disciples indeed. And [then] you shall know the truth [about My Word and the people and situations that influenced your life,] and the truth will set you free.”
Nothing but God-given Truth can deliver us from the “strongholds in our minds” that define our memories, feelings, and actions, (2 Cor. 10:3-5.) After our salvation in Christ, the continual “battle” we all face is for our thoughts and beliefs, which can lead us astray and make our lives a misery that continue long after the abuse has stopped, (Jam. 1:13-18.) So, let us forget so-called “instant church deliverance.” Their Christianized occult teachings and practices only open up the abused to greater demonic control and harassment. The complications of sexual and other abuse are complex and too dangerous to play with God and His Word like they do. It is an immovable fact that doctors and other medical workers of all sorts can alleviate symptoms, but only the Lord Jesus Christ Himself is our Healer on all levels of life, (Isa. 53:3-5.)
¨ The following is shocking but liberating truth. Sexual immorality is one of the main roots of abuse, as it causes great spiritual, emotional, and physical disturbances in the lives of the innocent and helpless. While on death row, the narcissist-psychopath serial killer Ted Bundy said in an interview, “All the violent offenders I met in prison, just like me, without question or exception, every one of them was deeply involved, influenced, addicted, and consumed by pornography…” It probably started with child molestation and watching porn afterward, and ended in the brutal murder of unknown numbers of women, children, and men. This is because the extreme physical and emotional trauma of sexual abuse is terrible in itself, but it’s spiritual implications are greater than anything else, as those who were joined to [male or female] harlots become one body, [soul or mind, and spirit] with [them,] while they must be “one spirit with the Lord,” (1 Cor. 3:16-17; 6:15-20.) This proves that sexual abuse is extremely dangerous and destructive.
¨ The devil hates all innocence, holiness, and goodness because he hates God and His wonderful creation. The more he can violate the bodies, souls, and spirits of humans, the easier they become his instruments to obliterate everyone else they can lay their hands on, (1 Ths. 5:23.) Thus, through corrupt family, friends, and acquaintances, he recruits those who chose to be swallowed by abuse and other addictions because they do not respect their own bodies that were created in the image of God, (Jn. 1:12-13.) Hence, in Satan’s attempt to desecrate everyone and everything that God created, one cannot begin to imagine how many evil spirits are transferred and so-called ‘soul ties’ or actually, trauma and treason bonds are enforced through Sexual Immorality and his companion Violence, (Heb. 4:12.)
¨ It is no coincidence that the notorious serial killer Ted Bundy disclosed that violence [and all other forms of cruelty such as covert narcissism,] accompany sexual crimes. God rebuked the fornicating, adulterating priesthood of Old Israel as follows in Malachi 2:13-16, “I am witness between you and the wife of your youth, with whom you dealt treacherously, [by divorcing your good wives to take pagan women, who mostly do not have qualms about fornication or pornography, which people now watch as entertainment, Mal. 2:11.] Yet, she is your companion and wife by covenant… [And I hate your fornication and adultery that result in divorce, Matthew 19:9,] as it covers your garments with violence…” God was speaking about their priestly attire, which symbolized their holy position and morals in Him. But when sexual crimes desecrate the human body, soul, and spirit, Satan’s ruin through violence on all levels of life follows. So, where there is violence (and other desecrations such as alcohol abuse and drug addiction) in a home, we can know there are fornication and adultery behind the scenes. If someone has sex with anyone other than his or her spouse, it instantly breaks the holy marriage covenant between one husband and one wife, opens the whole family to the abuse of many demons, and tears them apart, (Mt. 19:1-9.) Therefore, it is no wonder that children who were raised in such satanic brokenness can suffer, (and also choose to make others suffer,) for the rest of their natural lives.
While sexual immorality is always detrimental, what is more devastating is the trend of many victims of sex crimes and violence, (covert violence too,) to watch pornography and practise the exploitation and addictions, which demolished their own lives. The truth that can set them free is that everything we do is a personal choice. In every bad situation, we can choose to rebel against God, or we can choose to obey Jesus’ Word and be delivered from evil.
The first step to freedom in Jesus, is to understand how dreadfully serious all kinds of sexual and other abuse are. The trauma that abused people suffer is really “terrible,” although cultures and society tend to make light of it all. Understating the devastating effects of trauma clarifies many of the issues the abused suffer during and after the event. Thus, I also believe it is necessary for them to “go back” without the motive of reminiscing over it in a self-destructive way, so they can begin to understand and come to terms with the real cause and extent of the abuse. E.g., various health issues, unresolved anger, “low self-esteem,” passive aggression, narcissism, memory loss, anxiety attacks and other phobias, confusion, “attention deficit,” depression, etcetera, are usually caused by the past and ongoing emotional and physical stress of harassment, terrorizing, and sabotaging by other people.
According to the type, extent, severity, and the length of the abuse, and whether violence, rape, child molestation, homosexuality, incest, bestiality, oral and anal sex, (fellatio,) prostitution, and other types of unnatural intercourse were involved or not, the abused can also be overwhelmed by the fear of sex, (gynophobia,) hyper sexuality, (hyperphilla,) homosexual tendencies, etcetera. Besides being trauma and treason bonded to their abusers and suffering from Stockholm Syndrome, (yearning for the acceptance and love of their abusers and revering and defending them even after they died,) suffering from post traumatic stress such as nightmares, (which is the reaction of the mind attempting to understand and “decompose” what was done to the person,) their demonic crimes also open up the harassment from demons, including sex with male incubus and so-called succubus female spirits, which can turn their nights into filth and terror, (Gen. 6:1-6.)
¨ Because the best “defence” of abusers is offence, they always fiercely pretend to be the victims. So, whether the real abused “overcame” the above mentioned and other afflictions to move emotionally to a place of acceptance and peace or not, they must realize that they, and not their blame-shifting abusers, were the innocent victims. The abuse of other people was way beyond their control. So, self-blame, self-hatred, and despair that can even result in suicide are totally uncalled for. “None of us could know what we did not know.” It is a fundamental part of our healing in Christ to forgive ourselves for our gullible trust, blind love, and futile forgiveness of abusers such as parents and spouses. We must let go of our guilt over the wrong choices we made, especially in early life. As we are in the School of the Holy Spirit until He comes to take us to our eternal home, life as a whole is a learning curve. It is useless to cut ourselves for things we had no inkling about, did not expect, invite, plan, or willingly participated in, (Lev. 19:28.)
The second step to freedom in Christ is to understand how 1) God views unrepentant abusers, 2) who those that commit such vile acts really are, 3) as well as the sins of abusers that entangle the abused in their evil. As the following Scriptural principles of God are unchangeable, we all need to intensely desire and search for God’s contextual, Scriptural Light, (Jesus,) to reveal to us the truth that will set us free in combination with our obedience to His Word, (Jn. 1:1-13.)
1. The abused must realize that God gave us all a free will; He will never save or change anyone against their will, (Deut. 30:19; Jn. 1:12-13.) If abusers reject Jesus and His True Word, there is nothing we can do to change them. We can only change ourselves by our own decision to obediently follow Jesus, and abandoning darkness such as arguing and fighting with them to resolve the bad situation, as that only feed the evil of abusers. God commanded believers to shun unrepentant people no matter who they are. If we love “father, mother, [spouse, children, etcetera,] more than Jesus [by submitting to their evil,] we are not worthy to be His disciples,” (Mt. 10:37.) Accordingly, He commanded in Proverbs 22:10 KJV, “Cast out the scoffer and contention will leave. Yes, strive and reproach will cease!”
2. So, it is vital that the abused not only understand the truth about their futile expectations to resolve the suffering, they must also realize who abusers really were or are. E.g., abuse come directly from Satan, but it works through unrepentant people with debased minds who deliberately choose to remain unchangeable, (2 Cor. 10:3-5.) As long as the abused see their tormenters as people with “good hearts,” they will always remain enslaved to them, the abuse itself, and the consequences thereof. Jesus said in Matthew 15:19, “Out of the [unregenerated, unbelieving] heart comes… murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, lies, slander…” And He declared in Romans 3:9-18, “There is none righteous [if he does not live sincerely in Jesus...] The Way of Peace they do not know, and there is no fear of God before their eyes,” (Rom. 3:9-18.) It is only when the abused identify the real nature of their abusers, that it will become easier for them, by God’s grace, to shake off their suffering and follow a clean, holy lifestyle in Jesus, (Rom. 12:1-2.) In this way, although they are spiritually already “complete in Him,” they will intellectually and emotionally begin to move forward into His full, encompassing Light” or character maturity, (Col. 2:9-10; Pt. 3:18.)
3. “Do not be deceived, evil company corrupts good morals [and habits.] Awake to righteousness and do not [allow others that lead you into] sin...” (1 Cor. 15:33-34.) So, as seen in Proverbs 22:10, the abused must radically stop to “enable” unrepentant abusers by either fleeing physically from them if possible, and/or by rejecting them and all their filth by exposing them once they, (the abused,) understand the severity of it all. Those who turn love into abuse are haters and emotional and physical murderers, not lovers! (1 Jn. 3:14-15.) Do not believe, justify, or accept their manipulation, excuses, false promises, and lies. Jesus said we shall know them by their fruit or constant behavior! A “bad tree” or those who “speak lies in hypocrisy had their consciences sheared” and cannot bear good fruit, (Mt. 7:16-20; 1 Tim. 4:2!) In John 8:44, Jesus called them Satanists; saying, “You are of your father the devil as his will you [choose] to do. He was a murderer from the beginning and… is the father of lies.” If nothing “works” with abusers, we must see them as dangerous, immoral psychopaths without a conscience, (2 Timothy 3:1-9.)
THERE IS NO SUCH THING THAT CLERGIES CAN SEND WIVES (OR HUSBANDS) BACK TO LIVE UNDER THE DECEPTION, ADULTERY, AND VIOLENCE OF THEIR ABUSING SPOUSES! THE SAME GOES FOR ABUSED CHILDREN AND THEIR PARENTS. In reality, clergies and the abused themselves if they are capable, must follow Jesus’ disciplinary steps in Matthew 18:15-20 as far as possible to deal with unrepentant maniacs. In accordance, Paul testified in Galatians 2:5 that “we must not yield submission [to deceivers, thieves, murderers, torturers, and destroyers] for even an hour, that the Truth of the Gospel [and all other things] might continue in us.” If the abused submit to abusers and accept their lies, they surrender their minds or souls to dangerous Satanists to mess with them as they please, (John 8:44!) All types of abusers “are slaves of corruption; for by whom a person is overcome, he is brought into bondage,” (2 Pt. 2:19.)
Furthermore, when we stand before God, we will not be able to blame anyone for our decisions and sin. So, the abused must never believe or accept the blame-shifting of abusers to exonerate themselves in their own eyes. “The sins of [abusers to make their victims suffer] are their own.” And the truly legitimate sins of the abused when they also violate God’s inward Moral Law are their own. That is not to say they must not be angry with abusers. It means they must not hold on to anger but deal with it according to the precepts of God’s Moral Law. “The one who sins [is the one that] will die. The son will not bear the punishment for the sin of the father,” and vise versa, (Luke 17:1-3; Ezk. 18:20.)
As seen above, it is necessary to understand that the abused, (under the constant pressure and brainwashing of abusers who tried their utmost to define the reality of their victims with their incessant mind-games,) can easily become abusers themselves. In the hands of abusers and also through the lingering thoughts and beliefs they ingrained in the mind of their victims, the abused can heap up more problems for themselves by gravitating towards the things they loathe. For instance, because so many abused people we programmed to do sin, things like sex with blood family and extended family, (King Herod beheaded John the Baptist because he warned that it is incest to have sexual relations with your brother’s wife, Leviticus 18:16; Mark 6:17-29,) can lead the abused deeper into darkness by turning them into family abusers themselves. If fellatio or oral sex is practiced even in marriage, or watching and participating in pornography and whatever else perverts God’s creation principles, it will extend the addiction to adultery and violence, because the abused then continue to slide deeper into the devil’s clutches after the initial onslaught on their innocence, minds, bodies, and lives.
¨ What we see from all this is that the struggles to be healed from the far-reaching consequences of abuse are complicated. Unless the abused submit completely to God and “renew or transform their minds,” (intellect and emotions,) to understand the truth of what is described in this article, they might never be able to distance themselves from abusers and “CAST DOWN the strongholds” which those demoniacs have erected in their “minds” or thoughts and beliefs, (Rom. 12:1-2; 2 Cor. 10:3-5.) Thus, the abused must check their own “minds” and behaviors to see what sins they got addicted to during their awful encounters with those demoniacs. Consulting our Father in heaven during the whole process is very important. Only the Lord Jesus Christ has the power to give broken and confused people the insight, wisdom, Scriptural obedience, and the Holy Spirit’s leading to cast down all the sins that keep their “minds” in bondage to their abusers. Lingering anger, decided unforgiveness, and thoughts of vengeance are just three pitfalls for abused people, which they must squash the moment that enter their minds. Then, they must continually take the battle to overcome it all directly to the throne of Jesus where they must release their abusers into His righteous hands.
¨ Because sin and sexual sin in particular are so addictive, Jesus forbade sinful lust and all other sin. Once sinful “desire is conceived [or accepted,] it gives birth to [deeds of] sin, [which brings forth] death,” (James 1:13-18.) The sin of lust especially, completely unites the perpetrator with the other harlot, (1 Cor. 6:15-20,) while other sins that get stuck in the minds of the abused actually does the same on an emotional level. In His mercy, Jesus also gave us the only real cure for demonic illness when He commanded, “If your eye, hand, or foot causes you to stumble, pluck it out or cut it off and cast it from you. It is more profitable for you that one of your members perishes, than for your whole body to be cast into hell,” (Mt. 5:30.) In other words, rather mutilate yourself emotionally and cut off dear relationships than to fall into, or remain in sexual and other sin. There is absolutely no other way to overcome sin and its dangerous repercussions, other than to drastically refuse it and then decidedly repent or flee from it with all our might. For instance, sexual sin can only be “overcome” by refusing to “look,” “stare,” or “search” for it by flirting and peeking at potential sex partners. (I call this dehumanizing sin Playing Meerkat.) Thus, Paul commanded in 1 Corinthians 6:18, “Flee sexual immorality…” And in 1 Corinthians 5:9, “Do not keep company with sexually immoral people… [as that will certainly be your downfall.]”