Home         About me        Testimonial       Exegesis – Interpreting the Scriptures        How to be saved        Let’s Talk



Renette Vermeulen



[Acknowledgement to the person who compiled and published this image] 




The story, illustrative of this studyWhat Meddling Narcissist Parents can do to Adult Children 


If something outright demonic like the non-stop torture of narcissists enters the scene, marriage and family ties to such perverted people become impossible.  Narcissism is a common yet deadly “personality disorder” where ‘in control,’ ‘very nice,’ even ‘soft-hearted and loving’ masterminds choose to exert and maintain ultimate deception and domination over their victims.  The aim is to systematically possess their victims’ spirits, souls, bodies, and lives.  The pitfall is that narcissists seem so incredibly normal.  But narcissism is a detrimental process of psychological and also physical abuse that brainwash their victims so slowly over time that they cannot see it as abuse no matter how badly they are treated.  Because it works so meticulous and calculated, narcissism is one of the most destructive forms of abuse that exists.  When you sit opposite a polished narcissist, you are actually face to face with Satan, the evil genius of corrupted light and truth.  ‘Entitlement,’ (the belief that they have the right to do whatever they want because they are “naturally deserving of privileges and special treatment,”) summarizes narcissism.

Narcissism can reveal itself through parents, spouses, children, friends, extended family, and people in authority such as teachers, but the victims whom they most severely affect are those closest to them.  They deliberately and habitually poison everyone around them with lies, deceit, unbelievable forms of manipulation, and sinful control to do whatever they want to do, “just because they can.”  As and when it suits them, they will burst into narcissistic rages to get the desired control and attention on which they feed their incredible self-love.  Narcissists top most other ‘toxic’ people. 

Narcissists choose their victims carefully.  To underhandedly gain control of intelligent, strong, independent, and sincere people, they worm themselves into admirable and lovable positions with pretentious nicety, decency, trust, and care.  When angered or cornered, they will pretend to be the abused victims of their captives to gain support through the misplaced sympathy of new prisoners.  They are expert chameleons, often described as ‘real gentlemen and ladies;’ taking on the character that suit the situation.  Where they see innocence and beauty, they will strike.  They are dangerous spiritual, emotional, sexual, and financial predators, and they are so clever that their crimes are hardly ever fully revealed. 

Mostly, only their victims know what they do and suspect that something is terribly wrong somewhere.  Even then, unless the severity and extent of narcissism is clearly explained to them, victims might never begin to understand the terrible danger they are facing.  It is, therefore, not uncommon that spouses may only discover after nearly a whole lifetime that narcissists forced them to live lives of utter misery to feed their demented double lives. 

The greater the challenge, the greater the satisfaction of the narcissist to gain the upper hand and to bring victims in complete submission to them.  Once that is achieved, they stealthy obliterate their victims.  They will only allow their captives to function freely as long as they can bring them more and more prestige and glory — which always remain under narcissist control.  As soon as victims become too independent to their liking, they will cleverly “put them in their place.” 

For a long as it is up to them, narcissists will force their victims, especially their spouses and children, to stay in a combination of fight and flight mode.  Life with a narcissist is never-ending taunting and torment.  The goal of narcissists is to wear all resistance down.  Eventually, through their constant abuse on all levels of life, the impact on the spirits, souls (minds,) and bodies of their victims will ‘trauma-bond’ their captives to them.  This happens when narcissist mind games and assaults cause their victims, as a desperate survival mechanism, to see them as “strong, good, and kind hearted” by focussing only on the so-called ‘good’ and completely denying the overwhelming bad.  Such traumatized victims can only, to various degrees, survive by living in denial.  If they do not continually withstand the cruel onslaughts of narcissism, they will ultimately suffer from Stockholm Syndrome, to see mind-blowing evil deeds as mere mistakes, cruel abuse as love, and underhanded destruction as ‘not all bad.’  It is, therefore, not uncommon that badly beaten and downtrodden wives, and sexually abused and violently assaulted children, fiercely defend these abusers with any “good” they can conjure up.  For instance, “My dad hit the living daylights out of me on every bad hair day he had, but that was just the way he was.”  “No matter how many times she committed adultery and lied about it, I will always love her.  I cannot live without her.” 

Narcissists choose to be incapable of loving anyone but themselves.  They mostly pretend Christian and other religiosity, and can put up holy faces that shame the angels, but “do what thou willst” is the whole of their law, just as in all other forms of active Satanism.  They personify God’s Word that warns, “[Such deceivers are just like their father the devil,] who turns himself into an angel of light,” (1 Sam. 15:22-23; Jn. 8:44; 2 Cor. 11:14.)  In the minds of narcissists, there is not an inkling to submit to anyone else or even to God, although some might even baptize themselves as disciples of Jesus to stay under the radar and to get deeper into the minds of their victims.  Neither will they repent from the demolition of the lives and souls of their victims.  Everything is just about them.  Even the good they do is just to feed their open or secret grandiosity by turning it into something bad for their victims in some perverted way or another


Either grandiosely, (overtly, flamboyantly, or openly,) or covertly, (secretly and underhandedly,) or in combination of both, narcissists disrupt and undermine their victims to dismantle their lives. They thrive on creating chaos.  One bout of their abuse still rants and raves while they have already moved on to something worse.  Depending on how they choose to carry out their manipulation, they also pretend either supreme intelligence, ignorance, innocence, unbelievable stupidity, or a combination of all.  They taunt their victims all the time and illogically argue about everything.  But note that such evil behavior is only reserved for their victims.  Other people mostly see them as perfect human beings. 

And so, their victims always suspect that something is seriously wrong with them, but they hardly ever realize that they are yoked to spiteful evil geniuses that totally lack responsibility, accountability, remorse, and true empathy for anyone else. No matter how often they declare their ‘endless love,’ their heartlessness is necessary to calculatedly commit crimes such as the most filthy types of fornication, serial adultery, child molestation, the destruction of families and finances, and alcohol and drug abuse without any fear, regret, or a thought to conscience or consequence

Narcissists intentionally break every promise they make.  They have turned the hopeless treadmill jogging and mad rollercoaster rides of their victims into a fine art.  They live to get their all-time ‘high’ by smugly watching their hapless victims squirm with suffering and sorrow, which they deliberately inflict. 

Totally consumed with themselves, narcissists choose to be unteachable and unreachable torturers of the unsuspecting and the innocent.  Therefore, they choose to never learn from their mistakes.  They cannot be trusted in any way.  When they are exposed, they make even their worst crimes superficial, and turn their victims’ terrible distress into lies, trouble-making, and acting.  Receiving forgiveness is a religious right and merely a licence to continue their torment

Relentlessly, over a lifetime, as they pick specific people and situations to control, they use a combination of “loving care,” passivity, (when they spitefully choose not to defend their ‘loved’ ones or to stand up for what is right,) lies and manipulation, a mixture of flattery and foul-mouthed character assassination, and underhanded backbiting to infiltrate the boundaries set by their victims.  In fact, setting boundaries is just another challenge for them to expand their evil. 

Through blame-shifting, false accusation, and a technique called gaslighting, they cause their victims to even doubt their own sanity and motives to confront their so-called “non-existent” abuse.  Whatever victims expect from narcissists, is exactly what they will never get.  For instance, if victims expect love, fidelity, truth, honesty, and support, they will get a pretence of that to momentarily set them at ease.  But what they will really get is total lovelessness, infidelity, lies, dishonesty, and no support. 


The mind games of narcissists include many cruel methods to make their victims believe they are of no value to anyone.  They will pick on certain children and other vulnerable people to maliciously mock and tease them, and joke about their shortcomings and soft-spots.  They will take the word of someone that is harming their victims and never take any interest in what is important to them.  They will automatically contradict what their victims say to make them liars in front of other people.  And they will passively ignore requests to get involved in important matters.

Narcissists will pretend they did not or cannot hear or understand their victims and make their victims explain the same issue over and over and over again without ever getting through to them.  All the while, they secretly laugh themselves into stitches to think how stupid their victims are.  As and when it suits them, they will punish their victims for confronting them, not submitting, or giving them enough attention by shouting, swearing, and assaulting them; damaging their property, and make their stuff disappear or even reappear, moving things around, etcetera, (called gaslighting.)  

Although they can be very punctual, they will make their victims wait extensively before showing up for an appointment, or to return from work, shopping, etcetera, while vehemently denying they are late.  They do all this to live their double lives and to make their victims believe they, (the victims,) are nasty, clingy, perverted, and jealous.  In this way, they also distort their victims’ perception of time and space, and their sanity and sanctity.  Adulterating narcissists, knowing very well that their spouses suspect their underhanded crimes, (which are nearly impossible to prove,) will cheerfully bring them chocolates and flowers, revelling in the so-called “knowledge” of how mighty and genius they are to deceive, cheat, and destroy the trust and self-worth of their rejected victims so easily. 

Facts and proof mean nothing to narcissists.  For instance, if they give their spouses venereal disease, they will, highly offended, make the doctors and laboratory technicians into liars to say they, the narcissists, are the culprits, and force their victims to accept that one actually gets the clap from toilets.  If spouses push the issue to get to the truth, narcissists will fly off into a denying, blame-shifting, shouting, swearing, and dangerously assaulting rage to put the issue down.  To narcissists, offense is always their best defence.  Trying to get them to take responsibility for any of their crimes is totally futile and in fact a dangerous course of action, as they would rather kill than confess

What’s more, narcissists are fully set on playing the victim when their sins are confronted.  Someone said, “They will never talk about what they did to harm you; only how “insanely” you react to their continuous harm.”  Thus, they chronically lie by omission of, addition to, and the twisting of truth, and manufacture their own ‘truth’ as they go along. 

To live their completely double lives, narcissists baffle the minds of their victims to keep them subdued and guessing.  Most victims never realize that the aim of all the suffering is the utter destruction of their spiritual, emotional, and physical health.  In fact, narcissists target their victims for their entire lives, or for as long as they can exercise their authority over them without them knowing who they really are and what they are actually doing.  If they are called out, they will execute inhumane smear campaigns, contrived ‘truths,’ dangerous distortions of facts and things that were told in confidence, and they will even use extreme violence to disarm, confound, and bring their victims into disrepute. 

Ž The most common tactic of narcissists is to isolate their victims from their spouses, family, friends and any type of support system, which gives them a sense of ultimate power and invincibleness.  Thus, they force their victims into a state of utter loneliness, helplessness, and hopelessness.  Should victims commit suicide as a means of escape, it will puff the pride of narcissists sky-high as it will fulfil their ultimate mission to possess their eternal destiny as well. 

Ž Apart from deriving intense pleasure from being inherently cruel, the reason why they make their victims suffer as much as possible and for as long as possible, is to vampireously “feed” off their sorrow, anger, humiliation, hatred, hopelessness, and love, which make them feel “in total control, wonderful, and mighty.”  Any reaction to their torture, either positive or negative, supplies their sick feeding frenzy of narcissist control.  No method or amount of reasoning, pleading, anger, curbing, or weeping can change anything about them.  They are unchangeable because they deeply enjoy and thus choose the non-stop agony they cause their victims to endure


Needless to say, for sane spouses to survive either grandiose or covert narcissism, (which is usually a combination of both,) separation or divorce is inevitable. Every time victims enter into conversations or interactions with narcissists, they are entering a dreadful danger zone.  The first step to freedom from these abusers is to break all denial and defence concerning their narcissist character and crimes.  Then, victims must arm themselves with the bare truth to see narcissists for exactly who they are and what they do, in order to reject their terrible oppression, possession, and control.  Jesus said, “[If you desire the truth,] you shall know the truth [about My Word and everything else that concern you,] and the truth will set you free.”     

Ž So, when either narcissists or any other type of abusers refuse to repent because they are habitually toxic, (poisoning the spirits, souls or minds, health, bodies, support systems, and lives of spouses and their children,) divorce is indeed valid.  Jesus gave His believers the directive to be able to divorce on the grounds of adultery.  He also gave them His disciplinary process to work through when they must deal with hard-hearted, unrepentant people; spouses especially, (Mt. 19:1-10; 18:15-20.) 

The recovery of any relationship, (our relationship with God, spouses, and other people,) always pivots on full and sincere confession of sin, complete repentance from the decimating sins that caused the chaos, and active restitution for everything they had done, (Jam. 5:16.)  True believers will choose to salvage the marriage (or any other relationship) if it is at all possible, because Jesus commanded us to pursue peace under all circumstances — but definitely not at any price, (1 Cor. 7:10-16.)  Do not be deceived.  Narcissists will never sincerely submit and commit to these requirements for forgiveness and renewal

But the bodies (and spirits and minds) of true believers are the temple of the Holy Spirit.  We can be certain that God will destroy those who defile and destroy His temple, (1 Cor. 3:16-17.)  However, the victims of abuse must never accept such destruction passively.  Flee if possible.  Seek help desperately.  And stand on God’s Word that promises.  He will never leave nor forsake those who rely on Him.  No one has the right to torture God’s creatures and blood-bought humanity.  For God “so loved the world, that everyone who [chooses to] believe in Him, will not perish, but have eternal life,” (Jn. 3:16.) 

Make no mistake, the evil father of all wilfully evil people who choose not to really repent and follow Jesus, is not just after the souls, bodies, and lives of humanity here on earth.  His ultimate goal is the destruction of their eternal lives in heaven.  However, Jesus commanded in Rev. 3:11, “Behold, I Am coming quickly.  Hold fast what you have, [your life, sanity, etcetera,] and let no man take your [everlasting life.]”


Relating Articles

Ž Read the book, illustrative of this study:  What Meddling Narcissist Parents can do to Adult Children 

The struggles of sexually abused people are multifold 

Psychopaths that Deceive and Control us 

Dealing with Abuse and Abusers God’s Way

Great Irreconcilable Differences between Psychology and Scriptural Truth 

Ž The Great ‘Deliverance’ Deception 

Ž Mourning the Death or Loss of a Loved One  

Ž How To Deal With a Parent, Spouse, Teenager or Grown Child, Who is Addicted to Destruction and People of Destruction 

Ž How to Avoid Getting Stuck in Bad Relationships      

Ž Does God speak through fear?  What is fear and how do I control it


Are born again believers allowed to defend themselves against murder, land-theft, and other crimes

The Power of Praise in Deliverance from Affliction 

Personal Responsibility and Accountability form the crux of Fruitful Lives on earth



Witchcraft (Pagan & Christian) What is That?

Origins and their Pentecostal/Charismatic superpower baptism of tongues

Origin of Pentecostalism and its “Tongues Superpower” for Supermen and Wonder Women

Jesus Scriptural Baptism With The Biblical Holy Spirit 

Speaking in tongues — and other questions  

The Spirit’s Gifts are Real