my life 4


Renette Vermeulen








This book is illustrative of the Scriptural study, DEALING WITH ABUSE AND ABUSERS GOD担 WAY

 Narcissists are everywhere, and they are dangerous predators of destruction

 Narcissists work with demonic power and are addicted to sex, power, and control

 Demons are behind all sin; Satanists as well as believers can do great harm to people

 So-called 叢assive aggression is covert narcissism


Please note

The study of human behavior, as also found in psychology but not so much in psychiatry, is the crux of this Illustration of narcissism and the dangers it poses to unsuspecting people; confirmed and guided by the never-changing, Scriptural Word of the Lord Jesus Christ. Nevertheless, as many psychologists also use psychiatry in their 鍍alk therapy, one must be careful to 鍍est and prove everything to see if it is from God, (1 Ths. 5:21-22.) Additionally, where the word 砺ictim is used, it does not mean a victim mentality that merely seeks sympathy or anything similar. It factually refers to the true 妬njured parties, 吐atalities, or 田asualties of barnyard bullies, narcissists, psychopaths, and other sadists.




Peter was the only child of wealthy, weekend-alcoholics named Charles and Zeena Manson. Zeena, consumed with her so-called 礎eauty and self-sufficiency, often boasted how, to dance and party with her, she made Peter drunk since he was nine years old. She lived in mini skirts and over weekends, tight tracksuit pants and short pants, and paraded about in the house in Shorty Pajamas. She never closed the bathroom door when Peter was around. Zeena thought she was God痴 gift to men. She believed she was even above the rebuke of God Himself; taking His Name in vain with every second sentence she spoke. Charles was a has-been, featherweight boxer (125 lb/56 kg) with an attitude; a perpetual joker with a filthy mouth and an even dirtier mind, but with the reputation that he was the cleverest man in the family. At the time, nobody knew much about the dangerous mental distortion of grandiose/covert Narcissism. Thus, no one suspected that this family was infected with the self-adoration and entitlement of this destructive 叢ersonality order.帳

The parents were 壮mart businesspeople during the week and drunken party animals over weekends. Yet, they claimed they were 叢erfectionists.帳 Charles worshiped his expensive, shiny car, (典he Golden Ride,) above all else and no one was literally allowed to breathe on it. Even when Peter was a baby sitting on Zeena痴 lap, he was not allowed to touch the polished leather seats with his little feet. Everything in their house was straight and supposedly super clean, and everything they did was allegedly done 疎bsolutely perfectly - including executing their weekend manias and evil lives.

It was never necessary for Zeena to work out as, in the early years, Charles was a good provider, but she looked down on women who chose to be homemakers. Becoming homemakers was the norm in those days. When drunk, she would boast how her boss jokingly lifted her onto his desk to 壮peak to her, and how she was the queen of the ball at office parties. At first, she left Peter with his grandmother but later she hired maids to take care of him at home. Some of the maids sexually molested him. However, Zeena was always too busy to notice anything especially the fact that emotionally, Peter was a seriously neglected, maltreated, and disturbed little boy.

Weirdly, Zeena never referred to her husband as Peter痴 吐ather.箱 In turn, he never referred to her as Peter痴 杜other.箱 Whether she spoke directly to Peter or not, she would always refer to her husband as 鼎harles.箱 Strangely, Charles would refer to her as 鍍he old girl.箱 Together, Charles and Zeena abused Peter on all levels of life, coaxing him to follow their bad example in character and lifestyle. Charles Manson was a extremely overt control freak, who focused his life on some kind of private vendetta with Peter. He never tolerated any excuses or resistance from him, no matter what he commanded Peter to do. Since Peter was a little boy, Manson did not hesitate to let his extremely filthy verbal abuse, boxer-fists, and kick-boxer feet fly into Peter痴 face and young body. Zeena was an 兎nabler of Charles bad behavior; making excusing and backing him up no matter what he did. She was actually more of a covert control freak, who always proved to anyone who got on her wrong side that her backhanded poison was deadly. Secretly, she was always the instigation behind Charles vendettas with other people, (once he did not speak to his brother Sinny for seven years because he flicked a cigarette but onto his perfect, green lawn,) etcetera. Where their evil was concerned, Charles and Zeena formed a deadly double act.

By the time Peter met Anna, he was already yoked with a serious drinking problem and still firmly under his parents unreasonable control. The first night he took her to the movies, he had been drinking and tried to snuggle up to her all he time. So, when he dropped her off at home after the movie, she firmly told him she doesn稚 want to see him again. Yet, he didn稚 give up. He continued to show interest in her, now treating her with respect and dignity, until she began to soften up to him. Under his guise of a happy family life, Anna got to know Peter as a tall, warmhearted, easy-going man, whom she gradually began to believe, could be the one she could allow to become her lifelong friend...

The couple met shortly after Peter broke up with his girlfriend Gwen, whose parents also heavily partied. Charles and Zeena got along with Gwen痴 parents like a house ablaze with booze. Consequently, Charles and Zeena disliked the idea that Peter lost interest in Gwen, as their breakup interfered with their alcoholic friendship with her parents.


Anna was a nave country girl. She was of strong character and from a God-fearing, conservative home where the Lord痴 Name and alcohol were never abused. From the start, it was clear that Anna did not fit into Peter痴 rowdy clan. Yet, despite an uneasy feeling where his parents were concerned, as far as Anna could figure out, Charles and Zeena never spoke negatively about her to Peter. To him, all seemed well between her and his parents. However, when the cold shoulder especially his mother gave Anna could not dent the growing relationship, they made nasty, underhanded plans to get rid of her. Years later, Anna would hear from Peter痴 aunt Bessie that, from the very beginning, Charles and Zeena slandered her name to such an extent, 典he whole family and all their friends could hardly wait to meet the whore, whom Peter is now dating!箱

Anna was stunned. Tears of insult and injury clouded her eyes. 典hat痴 such a wicked lie Aunt Bessie! she cried. 敵od knows, my father is a strict man. He never allowed me to stay out late or to go with just any guy I always had to be home by ten o団lock when I went out with a guy. As any normal girl, I had boyfriends before I met Peter. My parents did not approve of one in particular, and they hurt me deeply in the process of driving him away. But I never gave myself to another man. Truthfully, I could never give myself to a man I did not love. Peter was my first and only...箱


When the Mansons realized Peter and Anna might be falling in love, they brought Gwen to stay with them over weekends as Peter explained, 吐orcing her constantly on him.箱 From the beginning, Peter told Anna about this unscrupulous control-trick to make him reconcile with Gwen, and said that he was still living with his parents and did not have any say in the matter. Anna was not that attracted to Peter yet, so she believed him and it didn稚 bother her at all. Consequently, the couple decided to simply ignore this revolting strategy to separate them from each other. Even as Anna and Peter痴 relationship grew, Anna did not see Gwen as a threat. She trusted Peter and began to believe that he loved her.

As Anna痴 parents strictly guarded her social life, she was content to wait for Peter to visit her over weekends and on Wednesday afternoons after work. She looked forward to Friday nights especially, as that was their movie night. As if she was instinctively inviting God to master this relationship, she invited Peter to church with her on Sunday evenings.

They enjoyed life together. In those happy early days, Anna could never have foreseen the saturating sorrow, which his parents would constantly inflict on their young souls and lives. And that Peter would play an intricate part in their destructive plan to get rid of her, was the furthest from her mind. Peter presented himself as a hardworking, stable guy. She never so much as suspected bad and underhanded things from him.

After a few months, Peter and Anna got engaged during a big party at Anna痴 home with both their parents consent and blessing. Anna was oblivious to the fact that Charles and Zeena were raising hell behind her back, and Peter said he also knew nothing bout it. But smiling wryly at Anna痴 engagement ring, Zeena once taunted, 添ou should see Lorraine痴 ring! Now that is something spectacular! It痴 something like the one Charles first gave me when we got engaged.箱 Zeena neglected to mention that, (as Peter told her, Anna,) he flatly refused to accept money from them to buy her a 礎igger stone.帳 So, Anna kept her peace and chose to believe her 鼠ittle diamond came from the depth of his heart. Thus, the thought of a 礎igger stone never entered her mind.

Lorraine eventually married Peter痴 cousin Dennis, who hated Anna for reasons unknown to Anna, and openly scolded her as a whore, as the slanderous tales that Zeena and Charles were spreading, reached his ears as well. When Anna confronted Dennis, he only shouted further abuse at her. Although Peter was present, he pretended to know nothing about what was going on and did not say a word to support her. So, she had to fight that battle alone. Naive as Anna was, she didn稚 think much of Peter痴 菟assiveness.箱 Dennis was his cousin and also his best friend. They grew up together. She grossly overlooked Peter痴 lack of care through this defenseless passivity as a precursor of what was to come.


The couple was engaged for seven months when Peter痴 great aunt, who lived some 120 kilometers away, suddenly died. No one thought of notifying Anna, because Peter apparently had to work and did not plan to attend the funeral. As cell phones and the internet did not yet exist, and Charles Manson would not allow the 砥nnecessary expense of a telephone in his house, (to have a telephone cost about R3.00 ZAR per month in those days,) Anna, and as Peter made her believe, he too, were in the dark concerning the appalling plan Manson and Zeena were secretly executing.

That Friday, the morning of the funeral, without warning, as Peter later explained, Charles Manson commanded him to take the day off work to drive some of the people to the funeral, as Zeena had organized transport for all their stranded family and friends. Peter said he protested but met with Manson痴 ready response, 迭emember who paid the deposit for your car. Its mine, I can take it back anytime I want. You just shut up and do as I say.

Later, Peter said, he was surprised to see Gwen among the people Zeena carted to their home that morning. His mother arranged to take as many as possible in her car, while Charles Manson, (stocked with a picnic basket filled with glasses, cool drinks, and liquor bottles,) his old drinking buddy Boet Rheeder, and Gwen, piled into Peter痴 car. Manson and Rheeder took the back seat, while Gwen slid into the passenger seat next to Peter. Peter said he objected to no avail. Years later, then knowing the real Peter, Anna realized he was lying to her all the time.

That day, everyone ignored the fact that Peter was engaged to Anna, because, as Peter said, 敵wen [supposedly] knew the great aunt better than Anna did.箱 Still, that day after the funeral, Anna learned from his cousin Irene, Peter痴 family were shocked to see him with his old girlfriend again, confused as to what happened to his fianc馥.

Manson and Rheeder were drinking non-stop and ran out of booze before they left the after-funeral party. Gwen again took the front seat in Peter痴 car on the way home. As was their pub-crawling custom, Manson allegedly commanded Peter to stop at the town痴 hotel, and to pull off at every other hotel along the way for 殿nother quickie.箱 Peter participated in their drinking spree, driving as drunk as possible. Yet, drinking all the way home was not enough. When they finally arrived home late that afternoon, Peter and Gwen had to go to the 都hebeen first, (Charles illegal all-night liquor store,) to buy more booze. Manson knew the bootlegger so well he jokingly called him Brother Mike.箱

Peter痴 mother happily joined them after dropping off her passengers while Gwen stayed behind with them and Peter. The drinking party continued until Gwen and Peter had visited Brother Mike a few times and he had forgotten all about Anna - if ever she existed at all in any of his thoughts that day.


In the meantime, earlier that Friday afternoon, Peter痴 cousin Irene came to tell Anna the news about the great aunt痴 funeral and Gwen, who arrived and left with Peter in his car. Even before Peter and his array of boozers could return from their pub-crawling spree, the story of the discarded Anna was already the talk of the town!

That evening, Anna waited in vain for her fianc to take her to a movie.

She could not call Peter, as his parents did not have a telephone at home.

She knew instinctively he was spending the evening and most probably the night with Gwen. Her whole life fell to pieces.

The next morning, Saturday, her parents insisted that she comes to the bank and do some shopping with them. They found parking around the corner from the bank, but Anna wanted to stay in the car. When they returned, her mother gave her a pretty mauve scarf and cap, which she had bought for her. Anna was puzzled, as it was not in her mother痴 nature to surprise her with gifts. Then, on the way home, they told her they met Peter痴 parents and a girl named Gwen that were parked in front of the bank. On enquiry of where Peter was the previous night, and why he treated her, Anna, so badly, Charles merely shrugged his shoulders and laughed, 滴e had to go to work this morning but he痴 a grown man; he does as he pleases. I can稚 tell him what to do.箱

That was when Anna decided to break off the engagement and to let Peter go.


After work that afternoon, Peter cautiously parked his car in front of Anna痴 home, where she sat on the steep steps, leading to the deep, cool veranda of the old farmhouse.

He had hurt and humiliated Anna before all their watching family and friends.

Her heart was in tatters. She knew Peter had been unfaithful to her.

Peter said he stepped straight into his parent痴 trap or this was what he tried to make Anna believe for the rest of their lives together. Apparently, he never realized what his parents were really doing, even after their backbiting conspiracies that intended to deal his engagement to Anna a deathblow. Hoodwinked by the liquor bottle and his inability to stand up to his manipulative and oppressive parents, he effectively helped them to do away with the gullible Anna.

She unceremoniously broke off the engagement and tried to give him his ring back, but he flatly refused to acknowledge that he was unfaithful, to take the ring, or to let her go. Peter passionately denied any involvement with Gwen that day or night, stating repeatedly that Charles left him no choice but to take her in his car. He got drunk on the way home and much drunker during the evening, but he innocently went to bed all by himself.

He swore he did not touch Gwen. He swore he loved Anna, not Gwen. He chose Anna, not Gwen. He declared he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Anna. He begged Anna痴 forgiveness, reaffirmed his love for her, and promised never to 都tep into his parent痴 snares again.箱 The fact that he cleverly sidestepped his responsibilities to protect Anna and stand up for her and their relationship, slipped her mind that day.

Anna could not suspect what sadistic, narcissist trap Peter and his parents had set up for her. She had absolutely no way to know what perverted powers and dreadful secrets steered this supposedly 組ood man and his family. She chose to believe he was the victim of his interfering parents and that he escaped the wiles of his old girlfriend that night.

However, in reality, Charles Manson and Zeena, who were supposed to lead Peter in a moral, honorable life, assisted him to not only to break his engagement covenant with Anna that day, but also to reject and humiliate her in public. [An engagement is the first part of God痴 two-phase marriage covenant and binding before God and the law.] The parents had the audacity to portray Anna as the 祖ontrolling, shameless, unwanted invader of Peter痴 life to their family and friends.

Anna could not perceive how Peter revelled in all the attention he was getting by creating such destructive chaos in her life; she knew nothing about narcissism. She chose to discard the deep, sick feeling in her stomach. When he, some twenty years later on Anna痴 stern insistence, finally confessed that he was unfaithful to her that night, he still stuck immovable to the story that the Mansons caused him to cheat on her and to lie to her. But eventually, the truth began to filter through the deception that he had planted in her mind. He betrayed and humiliated her in public without allowing her the dignity to make an enlightened choice about their future together. So, Anna began to understand something of the planned blame-shifting and treason he committed that day, and the fact that he scarred her young life indelibly and opened doors for demonic infestations on, (as she still understood it then,) 奏heir once loving, innocent relationship.帳


That Saturday afternoon Anna chose to forgive Peter for allegedly bowing to the demands of his parents. The couple decided to be married as soon as possible, set up their own home, and forget about Gwen and the humiliating event at his great-aunt痴 funeral. Young and inexperienced in dealing with such devastating abuse and satanic strategies as Anna was, she and Peter consulted her parents to set the wedding date.

The next day, Sunday afternoon, they went to notify Peter痴 parents of their wedding plans. The parents had visitors; another of their drinking partners - one of Manson痴 sisters, Hannah, and her cheerful husband Old Dappy.

Surprisingly, it was Aunt Hannah who broke the hostile silence after Peter痴 quiet announcement.

鼎ome on, Zeena, the woman said firmly, 都top your nonsense. You know what it痴 like to be not wanted!箱

As usual, Peter ignored that strange rebuke as all the other obscure things that happened so 祖o-incidentally between them and his parents. Anna was too dumbfounded to say a word. She never realized she would be 渡ot wanted without any legitimate cause! What did become clear as time went by, was that Zeena knew exactly 努hat it was like to be not wanted by her husband痴 parents - and for a good reason!

Before Zeena married Charles, she was the girlfriend of his younger brother, Dirk. Apparently, Zeena played the brothers against one another until she finally dumped Dirk to marry Charles.

Charles had a disturbing birthmark in his face and never wanted children. Nevertheless, not long afterward, Peter was born healthy and unscarred, supposedly at seven months pregnancy. Something about Peter痴 birth was kept a closely guarded secret for nearly sixty years, as Zeena and Charles, as all slanderers, permanently focused on everyone else痴 past while burying their own dirty secrets. Nevertheless, at the time, great turmoil rampaged through the family concerning the birth of Peter, Anna and Peter later heard from his cousin Hannah, who was twelve years older than Peter.

Long afterward, what Aunt Hannah said to Zeena that day when Peter announced their wedding plans, began to make sense to the couple. Peter痴 aunt Hannah was actually saying Charles parents could not stand the sight of Zeena for all she had done to their family. That Sunday afternoon, however, Charles Manson and Zeena kept their cool and did not utter a negative word to Peter and Anna about the wedding.

Still, three months later, during the wedding rehearsal just before the wedding, Zeena quietly said to Anna so Peter could not hear, 的 give you six months, and he値l be home again!箱

Anna chose to ignore her nasty remark. She decided to be happy with Peter. She knew he had bad habits, but she was confident she could love him enough to help him change and become independent from his parents. Anna had foolish hope, as not even God changes people without their consent and steadfast commitment, but she didn稚 know it then.

There were more beacons along the way; clear warnings that Anna kept on ignoring as she was emotionally too immature to think soberly. Two weeks before that, something terrible happened that should have alerted Anna to her impending future with Peter. Strangely, that Friday afternoon, Charles and Zeena rocked up to take her with them to buy the liquor for the wedding reception. As usual, Peter was drinking on Fridays after work with his friends in the hotel. When they returned from the liquor store, Peter, supposedly feeling left out, came upon them in a rage while they were offloading the bottles, but soon calmed down and later they went to his parents home. As was the custom, he continued drinking with his parents when they got home. Anna was still under her father痴 祖urfew to not stay out later than ten o団lock at night. So, when Peter refused so take her home on time, she got up and took her handbag. She greeted his parents and as she walked out onto the veranda, he grabbed her from behind by the hair, flung her into the house, and attacked her in such a violent fit that Charles intervened. He attacked Charles as well. After a good fight, he finally came to his senses.

His excuse was that he was drunk and was allegedly concerned for her alone in the dark. Anna was dumbfounded. Afterward she realized she should have broken off the wedding plans there and then, but everything was ready for the wedding reception. She was too ashamed to speak to her parents about it. She thought it was impossible to get out of it now. Besides, she forgave Peter because he solemnly promised to never lay a finger on her ever again.


It was a sunny spring day when the couple got married in a beautiful church ceremony with both their parents explicit consent. Anna痴 five year old niece was her 杜iniature bride.箱 Her twelve year old niece was a bridesmaid, together with one of Peter痴 younger cousins. Her maid of honor was Celeste, one of Peter痴 older cousins, whose husband was Peter痴 best man. Much later, Anna would learn of the sexual relations between Peter and Celeste when they were