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True to the crafty nature of its master the devil, the sin of abuse also pivots on dehumanizing techniques.  As said, by making the abused into ‘lesser’ beings, abusers assume such superiority over them they arrogantly think it is their ‘right’ to torture them even to physical death; believing they “cannot really do wrong by harming and killing sub-humans.”  Just think how many helpless babies were gradually beaten to death by their fathers and the demoniac boyfriends of their mothers, while the mothers did nothing to intervene!  I believe those mother monsters and their insane men merely saw those babies as ‘nuisances,’ which interfered with their time and pleasures.  Someone aptly wrote, “Abusers make somebody less human by destroying his or her humanity, right to life, character, good name, Godly work, and self-worth; taking away his or her individuality, the creative and interesting aspects of his or her personality, his or her compassion, and sensitivity towards others.”

Behind and inside every willfully unrepentant abuser are murderous demons, (or a whole legion of demons,) commanded by Satan himself, even if those demoniacs profess Jesus Christ.  It is impossible to serve God and Mammon, Jesus said – or God and unrepentant sin of all sorts.  Willing, sincere repentance from sin is always the mark of a true believer.  So, victims of abuse must realize that all forms of unrepented abuse are planned, and maliciously executed from the throne of that fallen angel, whom the Life-giving Jesus called “the thief, who does not come except to steal, kill, and destroy,” (Jn. 10:10.) 

The crime of abuse transcends this realm.  Without mincing His words, Jesus referred to Satan’s unrepentant human helpers, the devil’s physical instruments of abuse, as those who “are of their father the devil, and the desires of their father they want to do.  He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him.  When he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own resources, for he is a liar and the father of it,” (Jn. 10:10; 8:44.)  Let us not deceive ourselves.  All unrepentant abusers are emotional and even physical murderers. 


Although the truth, with the motive to resolve and heal, often hurts deeply; deliberate lies and manipulation, which undermine our neighbor’s spirit, soul, intellect, body, gifts, work, loved ones, and life, are the direct, decimating voice of Satan, who chose to be the murderer of God’s “very good” creationSincerely born again believers of Christ will, as far as humanly possible, withhold malicious attacks on others, for to love a lie and practice a lie” is manifesting the nature of Satan.  (As discussed in this study, to confront sin openly and honestly by talking to the abuser, is a commandment of God and not condemnation or an attack on the person, Mt. 18:15-20. On the other hand, the unrepentant, corrupt “fruits” of character assassination distinguish false, hypocritical Christians from true believers in Christ

In the end, abusers themselves will not escape the destruction of their father the devil.  Sooner or later, those bound by hatred that manifests in covert crimes, will self-destruct.  Satan does not really ‘reward’ abusers while torturing and annihilating the deceived, helpless, and defenseless.  The evil one is out to destroy God’s entire creation.  He has set his attention on humanity in particular.  One thing is certain, if that first and great abuser, Satan, cannot deceive or oppress people into submitting to him and following him, he sends his human demoniacs to wield their dark swords.  The devil taught them to grant no mercy or a way of escape, in order to sadistically wear their victims down by torturing them beyond all reason and human endurance — even onto death itself

But I have news for the oppressed!  Jesus revealed Himself though His Word so that we may have life and peace.  Jesus said we will have hardship in this world, but we can take courage because He overcame the world!  (Jn. 16:33.) 


Was the so-called ‘passive’ (or secret-aggressive) King Ahab of the Bible ruled by the alleged misandry of the “male-controlling seductress” Jezebel?  This popular story is an extremely false, misogynist, [hatred for women,] dogma, based on the brutal distortion of their characters, (1 Kings chapters 16-19.)  All four chapters in the book of 1 Kings that refer to King Ahab, describe how actively and most aggressively he controlled everyone.  There was nothing “passive” about Ahab.  He was the king who, even before he married the pagan princess Jezebel, “did more evil than all the kings before him,” (1 Kings 16:30.) Yet, in total contrast to Scriptural truth, this extremely false dogma became the ‘excuse’ of so-called “passive” men, who allegedly married “strong character Jezebels,” to remain backhanded wimps.  Though this description of Jezebel is meant as an insult and the demonization of decent women, a ‘strong character’ comes from God and can only be forged by obedience to Him through trials and tribulation. So, it is appalling that so-called ‘passivists’ turn that precious gift into sin! To show how serious this fallacy is, “the spirit of Jezebel,” (a spiritual ‘woman’ or allegory such as “the bride of Christ” or “the ten virgins,”) is only mentioned once in the New Testament. There, it refers to false teachers of both genders, who tolerate false prophecy, teach deceptions, seduce believers to commit sexual immorality, and [do] “sacrifices to idols,” (Rev. 2:20-23.) 

Though the truth of Scripture totally debunks this heresy about King Ahab and Jezebel, it is good to understand how real so-called “passivism” or rather, secret aggression affect our lives.  The so-called character trait of “passivity” is not just secret cowardice.  It is self-styled, backhanded aggression that manifests in disinterest, disrespect, and psychopathic control through the silent treatment.  The two opposites of “passive” and “aggression’ are impossible to combine — except in the psychosis of covert narcissism, which contains the secret, immoral part of their double lives.  ‘Passivity’ is a no-care, deliberate discard of God’s Scriptural requirements to coerce unsuspecting people and deflect situations without lifting a finger, or drawing negative attention by standing up for good. But no one can escape their responsibilities and walk away unharmed.  Such transgressions of God’s commandment to “love” or actively agape Him above all, and our neighbors as ourselves, are without excuse, as God put His Moral Law in “every human heart and mind,” (Heb. 10:16.)  This too, is not a mental illness.  As all other forms of narcissism, ‘passive’ narcissists know exactly what they are doing


True ‘passivity’ does not exist, because proactiveness, (to prepare for or intervene in a situation to initiate change, rather than abusively reacting to events or falling into secret aggression,) comes from God as survival instinct.  For instance, fight, flight, assistance to others, and disengaging from danger after obeying the Moral Law as far as possible, are Godly, normal responses (not hasty reactions) to deception, calamity, etcetera, (Mt. 18:15-20.) 

This does not mean we should also take up the spirit of narcissism to maliciously interfere with people and go over to the dark side to physically fight, (unless our lives are in danger,) instead of “withstanding” evil by being ‘consciously aware,’ “vigilant,” and “careful how we hear,” to obey Jesus and defend ourselves against these secret saboteurs, (Jam. 4:7-8; Lu. 8:18.) When true believers speak responsively, it must be to shine His Light or Truth, and be His preserving, purifying ‘salt on the earth.’  So, we must speak for those who cannot speak for themselves, (animals too,) and so on.  Remember Jesus’ parable of the Good Samaritan?  Our God also commanded, “Defend the poor and fatherless. Do justice to the afflicted and needy. Deliver the... suffering, [as far as it depends on you and as the Holy Spirit leads,]” (Ps. 82:3-6.)  Paul took active obedience to Jesus into the spiritual realm when he commanded, “Preach the Word in and out of season, reprove, rebuke, exhort with longsuffering… [These are all actions, as we take no delight in people perishing through a lack of knowledge, lies, deceit, and other forms of abuse,]” (2 Tim. 4:2-3.) 

Ignoring and neglecting these decrees of God’s Moral Law is an abomination.  Yet, such disobedience is the delight of “passive” or secret-aggressive so-called ‘believers.’  God states in Heb. 10:38, “My righteous one will live by faith, and if he shrinks back, [in passivity,] My soul has no pleasure in him.” Lev. 5:1, “If a person… hears… or knows… about a [serious, unresolved] matter, if he does not tell it, [according to God’s commandments in Eph. 5:11; Mt. 18:15-20; Jam. 5:16,] he bears guilt.”  Rom. 1:32, “[Those who reject God’s Morality] deserve death… [And so do those] who [‘passively’] give their approval of [sin.]”  To so-called ‘passive’-aggressive abuses turned so-called ‘pastors,’ for instance, these commandments to obey God’s Moral Law contain too many verbs or actions.  Being fearful, lazy, and parasitic by nature, they always shirk their responsibilities and care nothing about the souls and lives of other people, who are mere “utensils” to them.  Hence, they trauma-bond and treason-bond people to them though their underhanded lies, false promises, rejection, subtle delegation, composed laziness, disinterest, and false accusations, because the uninformed hope they will get real affection or concern from them if they just regard them enough. 

Supposed ‘passivists’ also combine many other techniques to keep up the pretence of ‘passivity.’ These stingers so cleverly deny people attention and interest, they deviously make them believe it is a ‘great breakthrough and accomplishment’ when they finally get the faintest reaction from them.  So, people confuse “passivity” with ‘meekness and goodness,’ (“see, hear, and speak no evil,”) because their aloofness makes these assailants seem ‘quiet, dignified, and decent,’ while their deception is rooted in hatred, jealousy, severe aggression, and the  covert control of naive people. 

Their ‘mysteriousness’ is a viper’s pit of dirty desires; thriving on anger to hurt, humiliate, and manipulate the unwary. 

Passive’-aggressive abusers are brilliant, clandestine dominators and deadly emotional assassins. The supposedly ‘peaceful’ part of their character is a charade to hide their lack of empathy for everyone but themselves. Their  narcissistic personality disorder is typified by their lack of morality and conscience, and their sadistic need for idolization. 

They focus people’s attention on their suffering as the cause of their aloofness, but aim at looking superior and special.  They feed off the misplaced empathy, ‘respect,’ and ‘admiration’ of their victims.  These abusers give the impression they do not want to ‘offend’ anyone and make them think they are ‘harsh’ or ‘overbearing.’  Yet, under the pretense of ‘passivity,’ they deliberately allow, and stealthily bring deception and suffering over people to get their attention, because people believe they can help or change “underdogs,” who are supposedly ‘soft-natured’ and oppressed.  However, these so-called ‘meek’ aggressors are great deceivers with malignant agendas.  They brilliantly choose the road of least resistance to influence others to follow them into their so-called ‘passivity,’ where they make them their willing ‘subjects’ without them knowing what is happening to them.  This is the proverbial sneaky snake in motion through their mastery of deception and their secret control of the sentiments of ‘good’ people.  

May God give His believers discernment to “flee” from these super-secret “lovers of themselves,” who “creep [undetected] into households to make captives [of empathetic people…] who always learn and never come to the knowledge of the truth… They [succeed so readily as they] have a form of godliness, but deny the power thereof, [through their selfish, self-adoring behavior.]  Turn away from such people,” Paul soberly commanded.  They will steal your lives and souls without you ever realizing how and when they did all that to you, (2 Tim. 3:1-9.) 


Legitimate Blame Versus Undeserved Hatred for Perceived Passive Protectors   

It is particularly devastating, for instance, for children to have ‘good’ parents, who constantly neglects to defend them against molestation and the other abuses of malicious people.  Especially when someone, who is perceived as a protector, knowing the truth, ignores the abuse and even defends the abuser – and so, actively share in the sin of the abuser!  Thus, victims from an accountable age, who could distinguish morality from immorality, usually forgive the active abuser more readily than the ‘passive’ or uninterested person, whom they picked as their physical, emotional, or spiritual ‘protector,’ but who, both in reality and according to the victim’s own perception, abandoned and betrayed them in their need.  

¨ Here, we must make a distinction between real ‘passive’ protectors and the undeserved hated for supposed protectors, who really did not know about the abuse.  We must understand that one cannot be a protector if one is oblivious to the abuse; if one never suspected the abuse in the least; never saw the abuse, and most despicably, was never told about the abuse.  We must realize that most abuses are perpetrated in secret and covered by coercion and shame

For instance, the worst abusers usually underhandedly bully their victims while feigning friendliness in company.  Abusing parents hit and harm their children when no one is looking.  Adultery, incest, and child molestation are committed out of sight.  What’s more, filthy ‘secrets’ are also daringly committed right under the noses of unsuspecting spouses or parents, who never knew about the ‘quick little sex game’ that was played under the table during dinner, and in the bathrooms and bedrooms of their homes.  Deep down, some of the parents or spouses of victims might have suspected fornication of some kind, but to find evidence is another matter.  To expect that adulterers and child molesters, (as any other abusers,) would willingly confess their criminal offenses, is to believe the impossible!  Because all serial abusers are extremely cunning, they always go to great lengths to conceal their crimes — although, in company, (just for the thrill of it,) they might flirt and ‘play’ daringly with their victims without anyone else taking notice of it. 

On the other hand, ‘legitimate’ or ‘deserved’ blame for ‘passive’ or uninterested protectors, who did know all about it, yet never said a word to protect the victims, is understandable.  For instance, a supposedly ‘good’ but shaming granny [scroll down on the Webpage,] placed her finger over her grandchild’s lips and whispered, “Never say such things!” when the nine-year old girl told her, “Daddy touches me there...” 

That demented granny deserves all the blame her grandchild can muster. She actually “partnered” with that criminal according to God’s Word, and both should be behind bars, (Lev. 5:1-5; Prov. 29:24-25.)  Yet, in this case, the kid clearly suffered from Stockholm syndrome.  She grew up without moral conscience to become a sick nymphomaniac, kleptomaniac, perpetual liar, and extremely destructive, ‘passive’ aggressive  abuser, who adores her ‘wonderful’ granny! 



As seen, it is false faith to believe that God will change people who do not choose to change, (Deut 30:19-20.)  How then, can they expect God to violate their will just because they pray, live moral lives, withstand their evil, and try to educate them concerning the consequences of their sin?  God’s Word clearly forbids believers to associate with all willfully unrepentant people, (1 Cor. 5:11; 2 Cor. 6:11-18; Prov. 22:24, Ps. 1:1-6; Mt. 18:15-20, and so forth.) 

If people reject God and the goodness of His Word and Spirit, there is no way that they will accept the coaching of their victims.  They only see kindness and submission to them as weakness and as a result, they will escalate their abuse to turn the abused into mere multilevel punching bags, (spiritually, emotionally, physically, financially…)  to satisfy their sick sense of power and control.  It is, therefore, vital that the abused remain realistic where hardened sinners are concerned.  Most abusers have been committing their crimes for so long, like the unrepentant Esau, they will never be able to turn and do God’s will.  Apart from losing their moral conscience at a phenomenal rate, their biggest fear is that their helpers and supporters will reject them when they tell them the truth and reveal who they really are.  Once they take off their do-gooder masks and allow the abused to call out their double lives, they lose their power over them and their cruel mind games become worthless.  Both active and so-called ‘passive’ aggressive abusers of all kinds are brazen idolaters.  Their minds are firmly set on continuing their multitiered acts of abuse against the defenseless, because they sadistically derive pleasure from their cruelty, called “narcissistic feed.”  In Biblical terms, those who remain stubbornly disobedient to God’s Moral commandments commit idolatry and witchcraft to feed on sinful pleasures, (2 Tim. 3:1-7; 1 Sam. 15:22-26.) 

It is foolish to believe that abusers will ‘miraculously change’ without fully and sincerely surrendering to Jesus.  No one can deliver themselves from sin; especially not from sinful character traits, which they have been performing to perfection over a whole lifetime, (Rom. 3:9-31; 2 Pt. 2:14.)  E.g., even if alcoholics decide to ‘quit’ the booze on their own, they are still set in sin. They will usually turn from drugs to alcohol, but never stop getting “high” and “losing it.”  Even if they are sober at times, they remain the same criminals who cunningly exploited everyone; constantly lied about everything, and shouted and swore at those they could bully to get their own way.  That’s why ‘difficult’ people, who never truly accept and follow Jesus, will only grow worse over time, as their appalling nature and sick behavior also keep on maturing.   

Therefore, to escape the dreadful condition of abuse, damaged people need to realize that to contain abuse, they need much more than a shoulder to cry on, the empty promises of abusers, and their own meaningless threats.  When confronted by unrepentant people, they need to implement drastic, personal character and lifestyle changes, as cough drops cannot cure lung cancer.  Someone wisely said, “God changes your circumstances by changing you.” 

Victims will continually fail to “withstand evil,” which works through abusers, unless they realize that engaging with dangerous people is facing off with Satan.  Serial abusers enjoy to constantly drag their victims into an abyss of filth and crimes against humanity and God’s other creatures, which normal people cannot even begin to imagine.  As all other types of sin, abuse always begets more abuse “when good people do nothing.”  However, Jesus gave the abused clear Scriptural directives to deal with such power-mad individuals — not to change them, but to change themselves according to His Word so that they can escape their destruction. 

However, not all victims of abuse are able to follow all Jesus’ commandments to deal with abusers.  People are not equally strong, either physically or emotionally.  Nor do they all face circumstances that favor their escape.  For instance, children and even adults with nowhere to go cannot flee abuse and are, therefore, forced to live under oppression. 

This does not mean that victims should keep on submitting to abuse or give their consent to abusers by hiding and keeping quiet because they are too afraid and ashamed to speak out.  Unbelievably, most church leaders, failing to comply to Jesus’ clear commandments concerning abuse, send battered women back to “submit to their husbands to win their souls,” (Mt. 18:15-20; 19:8-9!)  Yet, there are cases where captured children, who were completely deprived of a life outside their prison homes, finally got the chance to escape by running to the neighbors for help.  Often, even children at barely an accountable age are able to elude sexual and other predators.  When confronted with sexual abuse, they ran away, screamed, or spoke to people in authority, who were able to help them. 

Yet, most people submit so readily to abuse. Victims often fail to run away from abusers, even if flight is possible.  On the other hand, we must not lose sight of how stealthily abusers condition their victims to all into their traps.  Often, they will first “love bomb” them, “groom them,” or overwhelm them with gifts and attention before they begin to reveal their ugly faces and vulgar hands.  So, even if the opportunity to escape presents itself, many victims choose to stay because they were trauma and treason bonded to their abusers and became dependent on their so-called “attention, love, and care.”   

Sadly, millions of clear-thinking victims who did get away, spend their lives in humiliation, anger, and fear without realizing that Jesus does not condone either the abuse, or the victim’s ‘passive’ acceptance of the abuse, (Mt. 18:15-20.)      God works in miraculous ways to help and protect the innocent, but the old saying, “God helps those who are willing to help themselves,” remains true.  This means, we must do the possible in the leading of the Spirit and according to His Word, and God will do the impossible.  God will probably never restrain that abuser until the victim flees, speaks out against the abuse, or follows Jesus’ commandments to deal with that demoniac as far as possible, (Eph. 5:11-13.) 

In fact, the dreadful cycle of abuse can never be broken unless either the abuser or the victim, (hopefully both) repent from their abusive habits, (dealing out abuse,) or from the sinful tendency to ‘passively’ allow abuse. 

Never ignore abuse; it is always an escalating process

Once abuse takes hold of a victim’s life, it never stops with just a few misdemeanors.  If a girl or guy is in debt before the marriage, they will bankrupt their spouses once the honeymoon is over.  (I always advise those who are to be married to first do a credit check on their intended spouses, as they marry the whole person and all his or her liabilities.)  If a man lifts a hand against his girlfriend, he will thrash her once they are married.  If a guy or girl flirts with the opposite sex, (and especially when the fiancée is present,) they will be a womanizing or nymphomaniac adulterer or adulteress throughout their married life, unless they truly accept and follow Jesus, and really repent from fornication and adultery.  If they drink too much alcohol or use drugs during dating, they will abuse alcohol and become drug addicts later on, etcetera. 

Abuse is always an escalating process, which, in the end, produces paralyzing fear, numbness of mind, much confusion, tremendous hopelessness, and multilevel entrapment.  All forms of abuse will eventually oppress the abused psychologically, physically, and hinder healthy communication with God and other people. 

Ultimately, abuse will control the souls (or minds) of victims with the sickening symptoms of depression, paranoia, confusion — and attack the bodies of victims with disease.  Hypertension, Migraine, Arthritis, Diabetes, Stomach Ulcers, Heart conditions, and Asthma are such stress-related illnesses.  Once Satan has accomplished submission to chronic abuse, he entombs the abused alive in smothering coffins, from which they rarely escape.  In that place of utter desperation and desolation, victims of abuse usually forfeit their will to fight, flee, or live.  Suicide then seemingly becomes the only option to solve the situation.  This, of course, is never the case, as suicide has eternal consequences, (1 Jn. 3:15.) 

Will God kill that abuser to end the torture? 

Can we say that abusers, (drug addicts, violent alcoholics, thieves, liars, lazy bums, murderers, rapists, child molesters...) are ‘more evil’ than other sinners, and God will kill them if they do not repent, to deliver their victims from their torture?  Without ever minimizing God as the Eternal, Righteous Judge of all evil, if God starts killing all sinners, people would suddenly become “as scarce as hen’s teeth.”  Still, “the wages of sin is [eternal] death [if we do not repent...] Do not be deceived; God is not mocked: for whatever a man sows, that will he also reap,”  (Rom. 6:23; Gal. 6:7.)

All sin, which we refuse to “crucify” to follow Christ  in holiness, will be our own bad choices to miss a lasting relationship with Jesus and eternal life in heaven.  “Do not be deceived: neither [unrepentant] fornicators, nor idolaters, adulterers, homosexuals, thieves, covetous, drunkards, revilers, extortioners… [murderers, tongue-murderers, liars,] backbiters, haters of God, violent, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, [abusing parents,] undiscerning, untrustworthy, unloving, unforgiving, unmerciful, and those who approve of those who practice them, [so-called ‘passivists,’] will inherit the Kingdom of God. [They are all] deserving of [eternal] death,” (1 Cor. 6:9-10; Rom. 1:29-32.) 

¨ So, if all our attempts to bring savvy to sinners fail because they choose to harden their hearts against the conviction of the Holy Spirit, and intentionally reject God’s mercy of Scriptural confrontation and discipline, we can be sure that the righteous Judge will punish those stone-hearted maniacs, (Mt. 18:15-20.)  Still, “It is His desire that all people should be saved and come to the knowledge of the truth, [and repentance from sin to obey the Word of God,]” (1 Tim. 2:4.)