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Abusers are Cunning Shape-shifters and always have Two Faces
Abusers are actually fearful bullies, and therefore, they only prey on the naive, weak, and defenseless. They will control all those who are unable to discern their true character and secret intentions. That is why, to deceive the abused and to trick their helpers into supporting them, they do not hesitate to shift their role from dominator to victim, to gain the sympathy and support of socially esteemed and even highly intelligent people. In fact, they will manipulate anyone who can assist them to maintain their hold on their victims and to extend their control to those they have in their sights.
Abusers always have two faces. First, they have the good and cheerful face, which they present to friends, family, and outsiders. Then, they have the face of raw hatred and cruelty they gradually reveal to their victims, which is the hidden evil that empowers their double lives. Consequently, should abusers be exposed, their friends and families often refuse to believe such ‘kind,’ ‘generous,’ ‘decent’ people could be capable of such incredible wickedness. That is why, in choosing between good and evil, and right and wrong, they usually side with these demoniacs pretending to be “angels of light.”
Generally, only the victims of abusers that refuse their controlling mind games, are able to tell what lies beneath the ‘good-natured’ faces of their tormentors. Although they might also deceive sober minded people to some extent, abusers hardly ever succeed in controlling those who are psychologically stable or emotionally stronger than they are. That does not mean that they will not secretly make their lives a misery from behind their masks. Nevertheless, these are the brave ones who withstand and expose unrepentant abuse to benefit themselves and society. So, those who lead authentic lives, say “no,” and flatly refuse to submit to their control, become their most hated and targeted enemies.
The warped minds of abusers, (vengeful victims turned abusers too,) are fully set on ruling, controlling, dominating, and dehumanizing everyone they can use to their own advantage. However, inwardly, those macho, clever, ‘in control’ exploiters are pitiful cowards, because the honest and the brave never resort to their malignancy and backhandedness.
“LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR” MEANS ‘AGAPE’ IN DEED AND TRUTH
The Old Testament Covenant Law that pertained to the Hebrew nation was written in stone. But God declares in Hebrews 10:16, “This is the [eternal New Testament] Covenant I [made] with [all sincerely believing humanity; Jn. 3:16.] “I will put My [Moral Law and all its precepts] into their hearts [or human spirits] and in their minds I will write them,” (Heb. 10:16.) So, everyone ‘knows’ how to “love” or obey God. That is why Paul wrote in Rom. 10:8-10, "The Word is near you, in your mouth and in your heart..." And this is the Moral Law of the New Covenant that God commands, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and strength — and your neighbor as yourself. These two commandments [are the fulfilment of the entire Moral Law and is, therefore, the only Law that Jesus commanded to govern His New Testament Covenant,]” (Mt. 22:34-40; Jn. 13:34.)
To obey Jesus and the precepts of the Moral Law correctly, we must understand what Jesus was actually saying. The New Testament was written in Koine Greek (and contains translations from Hebrew and Aramaic texts,) which have several words that express completely different concepts of our perception of the word “love.” This is so because later Bible translators manufactured the perception and word “love” to describe the “morality” or inward ‘decency’ of humanity, ruled by emotion. However, combining all those Greek words into the word “love,” brought much confusion and misunderstanding of the Scriptures. Actually, Jesus interchangeably applied The Greek words used in the original Scriptures, (which were substituted by the single word “love,) to the context of what He was saying.
These are as follows: “Agape” is deliberate morality or the choice to obey God and His Moral Law above all else in deed and truth, (Mt. 22:36-40.) Agape is practical obedience to “All Truth,” Who is Jesus Himself, and obedience to everything righteous according to His Moral Law, which extend horizontally to the rest of humanity and creation, (Jn. 13:34; 16:13.) Agape is sincere service to God, people, and ourselves that expands from the soulical (thought processes and decisions) to the throne of God. It functions practically in ‘deed’ and in the truth of Scripture, as the Holy Spirit opens opportunities, and according to circumstance. For instance, we cannot help those who do not want our help.
“Storge” or “Aisthima” in modern Greek, is emotion or feelings of fear, affection, grief, happiness, etcetera, motivated by “instinct” or sensations through familiarity, such as the feelings between parents and children. I.e., “Jesus wept over Jerusalem [and showed Storge,]” and “Abraham rejoiced to see His Day,” (Jn. 11:34-36; 8: 52-58; Lu. 19:41-44.) Animals, which were also created with “souls, (free will, intellect, and emotions, 1 Ths. 5:23,) are also capable of Storge.
“Pragma” is practical, realistic, committed, common sense, or ‘soberness.” 1 Pt. 5:6; Titus 2:2, “Be sober-minded… [Pragma.] Be vigilant…” Without Pragma or common sense, we cannot Agape God or our fellow man in deed and truth, by understanding and obeying the Moral Law to withstand and overcome the plans of the devil, (Eph. 6:11.)
“Philautia” is self-care and self-preservation as commanded in the Moral Law, “[Regard yourself] precious in God’s sight,” (Ps. 139:14-18.) God created humanity and all other life on earth with the ‘instinct’ of Philautia. Philautia was perverted into sinful and abusive self-adoration at the fall, which most prominently manifests in our time as “Narcissistic Personality Disorder,” greed, entitlement, abuse, and a lack of moral conscience to elevate “the self,” (Eph. 4:17-22.)
“Philia” is soul-mate friendship. Phil. 2:2, “Be like-minded, [Pragma.] Do nothing through selfish ambition [or sinful Philautia...] be intent on one purpose…” In Jn. 21:15-17, Jesus asked Peter, “Do you Agape Me?” Peter answered, “Lord, You know I] Philia You.” Jesus repeated the question until Peter acknowledged that he Agape Him. Jesus then commanded him to extend Agape according to the Moral Law to “feed His lambs, and tend and feed His sheep.”
“Ludus” is casual friendship as with co-workers, members of a team, at school, etcetera. Prov. 18:24, “A man that has friends must show himself friendly, [Ludus.] But there is a friend that is closer than a brother, [Philia.]”
“Eros” is passionate sexual lust or “instinct” that God created for procreation, and to make “the two humans into one” through His marriage covenant. Eros is euphemized as “romance” that must never turn into fornication and adultery to break the marriage covenant, (1 Cor. 6:15-20.) When a couple falls in “love” it is based on Eros, and is usually devoid of Pragma or sober-mindedness. If it leads to marriage, it must be based on Agape and Philia or soul-mate friendship, guided by Pragma or commitment and common sense. So, Eph. 5:25 commands, “Husbands, Agape your wives [according to the Moral Law, not because you are overwhelmed by Eros or lust, but] just as Christ also Agape His [holy] body of believers and gave Himself for her… (V. 21,) Submit to one another in the fear [Storge; a feeling of familiarity] of the Lord.”
So, Jesus was not referring to the Western understanding of “love” when He commanded us to “Agape the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul or mind, and all your strength.” Agape is the highest form of worship, which means to intentionally obey God above, and despite all else. In this light, we must also Agape our neighbors, [obeying the Moral Law practically and universally as in preaching the Gospel as God opens doors, while we also Philia fellow believers] as we Philautia [or esteem] ourselves.” Such obedience to God is sacrificing ourselves spiritually and emotionally to Him, which is “our reasonable [or basic] service to Him,” (see Rom. 12:1-3.) This is how we fulfill the Moral Law in totality.
In this context, James addresses ‘devil’s faith’ versus true faith in Jesus Who is The Truth. Faith too, is not a feeling (Storge,) but a decision (Pragma) to believe in Him and trust Him while obeying the Moral Law of Agape to glorify Him. [Truth, Faith, and Agape cannot be separated from one another.] James explained, “What can it profit anyone to have faith without works? [‘Works’ means Agape or service to others.] Can such faith [without Agape] save him? If [someone] is naked and hungry [and we tell him we have good feelings for him, (Storge,) but send him away without helping him,] what does [such faith] profit [in glorifying God?] You believe there is One God. [Good.] Even demons believe that – and they tremble, [because you are giving God feelings and demons know God requires Agape, although they never obey God. Verse 22,] Don’t you see that faith was working together with [Agape,] and by Agape [or Moral-Law works] faith was made perfect?” So, we are not saved by “works,” but by faith that manifests through works.
When Jesus referred to our “neighbors,” He was not just referring to the person next door. Every time we are next to another human being, we are next to a “neighbor.” God requires of us to sacrifice ourselves and everything He had entrusted to us so we can function in His service to Agape them. In a perfect world, Jesus' commandment would have been easy to observe. However, in the broken world, honest disciples of our Lord will admit that it is often difficult and even impossible to obey this commandment, as most people place themselves out of God’s ‘reach’ by rejecting the Jesus of the Scriptures and twisting His Truth. The most difficult calling is to minister to the “neighbors” we are attached to. For instance, it is easy to overlook someone who offends us on the highway. However, our ‘neighbors’ are usually those closest to us, who hurt and harm us the most. Those, whom we love with all our hearts, (Agape,) but fear with all our souls (Storge) because of the dreadful destruction they can wrought on our bodies, souls, and lives.
So, how do we do it? Well, mere feelings or Storge will not help us in difficult situations. But if we decidedly Agape them according to God’s Truth and the Holy Spirit’s guidance, our faith will jump into action, and Storge will not be excluded from our reward to glorify the Most High God.
DOES GOD “LOVE” US “UNCONDITIONALLY” - EVEN IF WE REFUSE TO REPENT?
The doctrine known as the “unconditional love and the unconditional acceptance of God” or the “once saved always saved” belief, stems from the completely unbiblical, Calvinist doctrine, also known as “the perseverance of the saints,” and is grounded in the false Roman Catholic/Calvinist/Lutheran doctrine of Predestination.
The truth about the so-called “unconditional love of God” is that ‘love,’ (any type of ‘love’ such as agape,) without conditions, boundaries, or limitations is definitely not from the God of the Bible, (1 Cor. 13:3 KJV.) “Unconditional love” for God or anyone else does not exist. Humanity is simply incapable of such ‘love.’ We will always, “by default,” expect ‘love’ in the form of fidelity, sincerity, etcetera, even if we do not give it in return – and the Almighty, All-wise; All-knowing God is too holy and just to ‘love’ in corrupt ways where lying, cheating, etcetera, can be called “agape.”
Of course we live by grace in Christ and have no spiritual merit of our own whatsoever. But because agape cannot exist in or be attached to sin in any way, God gives us The Perfect Way to repent or depart from sin and follow Him to heaven: His Agape, the Lord Jesus Christ; the power and leading of His indwelling Holy Spirit, and the truth of His entire Word, to glorify Him in holy obedience throughout or lives here on earth, (Jn. 3:16; 14:6; Rom. 8:6-10.) Jesus declared, “I Am the Light of the world. He who follows Me will never walk in darkness, but have [present tense] the Light of Life,” (Jn. 8:12.)
God commands us to repent from all sin, because it damages the precepts of His perfect Moral Law of Agape. Hence, it is correct to believe that God agapes the sinner, (Jn. 3:16;) while He hates and will not tolerate the sin that the sinner commits, (Rom. 6:11-14; 22-23.) If the sinner and his sin cannot be parted by the blood-covenant of Christ and the conviction of the Spirit, both sinner and sin must depart from the holy presence of God, (Mt. 7:21-24; Mt. 25:1-13.)
This is an unchangeable truth of God’s Word, which sin-loving, ‘once-saved-always-saved’ believers never want to hear. However, nothing that I write is to entertain false beliefs and hopes, but to bring all people, myself included, to a closer walk with God through the truth of His Word — which is the basis of all authentic Holy-Spirit power.
1 Jn. 4:10 explains, “In this is the [agape] of God: not that we agaped God, but that He agaped us [first] and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.” ‘Propitiate’ means, ‘to win somebody’s favor.’ This means, God totally rejected all of humanity in their fallen state or lost position of sin, as sin cannot enter the most holy presence of God. That is why Jesus had to atone in full for all our sins to ‘win favor’ with God the Father for us and in our place!
As a result, God’s agape for all people is fully revealed in and through the ‘propitiation’ or atonement of Jesus Christ. As such, “Jesus is the Only Way to the Father, and no one [that’s no one] comes to God except through Him,” (Jn. 14:6.) Jesus is the absolute, precise, and confined Way to God because He IS The [Agape] of God for all believing humanity, (Jn. 3:16-18.) This proves that God’s Agape — and our Redemption, Salvation, and Blessing are as conditional as can be! (Jn. 14:6; 1 Tim. 2:5.) No one will ever come to God the Father in or through any other way.
To “love” ‘unconditionally,’ means that in violation of God’s Agape, (“you shall agape your God with all your heart, soul, and strength, and your neighbor as yourself,”) we set absolutely no conditions or boundaries for our relationships with other people. We do not care how we treat others or how they treat us. We all accept even the worst treatment without the slightest complaint, self-preservation, or retaliation. Well, that might work if we were robots — but now, humanity was created “in the image [and with the moral character] of God!” Isn’t it strange that especially those who prefer to treat others abusively, do not tolerate any such gross violations of God’s Moral Law against them?
The above is exactly what the terrible psychopathic narcissist is all about: self-love without any Godly love. He only sees God and other people as utensils to magnify himself through his manipulative, deceitful control over everything and everyone, while he does exactly as he pleases. Whether he chooses to control people secretly or openly, countless demons steer every thought and action of this evil mastermind. He never does anything good unless he intends to use it for self-glorification. This is Satanism in the worst form of humanity. Thus, he abides only by one law his entire life, “Do what thou willst is the whole of the law.” The narcissist thrives on “unconditional love” and “unconditional forgiveness” so he never stands corrected, while he has no ‘love,’ mercy, or forgiveness for other people.
“CHRIST CALLED HIS DISCIPLES TO A SELFLESS LIFE; THEY MUST NEVER PROTEST ABUSE!” - “CAN THAT BE SCRIPTURAL?”
The Lord Jesus Christ did not call His disciples to suffer and die for continuous, demonic abuse. Jesus called His disciples to be willing to suffer if He so wills - in His own time, for the truth of the Gospel, and to the glory of God.
However, the notion that Jesus’ disciples should not utter a ‘negative’ or so-called ‘condemning’ word; never question false teaching and other forms of abuse, or try to defend themselves when persecuted, attacked, and abused, is entirely against God’s commandments to protect the innocent and the helpless – and to agape even our sinning ‘neighbor’ as ourselves. Such so-called “passivity” goes directly against God's Word, which clearly commands victims of abuse to flee constant persecution and to expose unrepentant abusers. The abused must also call abusers to account for their unconfessed and continued sin. More than that, in both the Old and the New Testaments, God’s Word commands that victims of abuse should, in cases such as theft, slander, adultery, rape, etcetera, demand restitution for the crimes of abuse, (Mt. 10:23; Job 29:11-13; Eph. 5:11; Rev. 2:10; Lev. 5:1-5; Lev. 6:1-5.)
Jesus and His disciples did defend their human and legal rights when in timely persecution
Jesus Christ, the Sinless Lamb of God, went to the cross willingly to pay for the sinful and cursed state of all humanity. No one murdered Jesus; He laid down His life in the place of all of lost, bound, and cursed humanity, (Gal. 3:10-14.) Hence, Jesus endured the high priest’s unlawful inquisition without protest, but when an officer violated the law by hitting Jesus in His face, He objected, “If I have spoken evil, then bear witness of the evil; but if well, why do you strike Me [contrary to the law]?” - (Jn. 18:23.)
Paul also defended his lawful rights when struck on the mouth by the high priest Ananias, saying, “God will strike you, you whitewashed wall! For you sit to judge me according to the law, and do you command me to be struck contrary to the law?” (Acts 23:2-3.) When the magistrates tried to cover their abuse of Paul in secret, he said, “They have beaten us openly… [for all to see] and have thrown us into prison. And now, do they put us out [of their prison] secretly? No indeed! Let them come themselves and get us out,” (Acts 16:27.)
Scripture warns, all those who desire to live fruitful lives in Christ will be persecuted. That is why, when under timely persecution, we must endure it for the sake of advancing the Kingdom of God and to glorify His Name. In such trying times, we must have “faith and patience to endure in persecutions and tribulations… For it is a righteous thing with God to repay with tribulation those who trouble you and to give you who are troubled rest, That Day when the Lord Jesus is revealed from heaven with his mighty angels…” (1 Ths. 1:4-8.)
Another reason why God does not intervene in ongoing, even lifelong abuse
While God does allow suffering to teach us obedience to His Truth and Ways through timely persecution, which is always under His control, it should vary between times of rest and hardship, (Heb. 5:7-9.) A soldier does not fight every moment of his life. God-allowed persecutions have Scriptural options, as we will see in this study. No one should passively’ tolerate abuse such as rape, child molestation, incest, adultery, lies, slander, and so forth. Such obliterating crimes do not advance God’s Kingdom, or glorify Jesus. It’s goal is personal destruction, not the strengthening of faith and trust in God, or growing in obedience to Him, although God is able to turn it all around for good, (Rom. 8:28.)
As a result, victims of abuse must always prayerfully seek Scriptural recourse against their abusers. As seen above, the abused may, and in fact, must object to torturous maltreatment, while calling abusers to account for their crimes as far as possible to stop the abuse, (Mt. 18:15-20.)
Additionally, not all suffering is willed by God. The abused also allow much suffering over themselves because they do not understand the mechanisms and nature of abusers — and so, they miss God’s will for those situations. Every situation we must face is a learning curve. We are all in the lifelong School of the Holy Spirit. And so, in every specific situation, we must grow emotionally to “work out our salvation with fear and trembling…” Not to ‘work’ for salvation, but to do the right thing to please God, (Rom. 12:1-3; Phil. 2:12-13.) Thus, “withstanding” abusers the wrong way will not help the abused to overcome the devil or to sort out the abuse according to the will of Jesus, (Jam. 4:7-10; Rev. 12:11.)
Apart from being trauma bonded to their abusers, suffering from Stockholm Syndrome, or being enslaved to their own “passive” aggressiveness, this is another reason why the abused may be engaged in the same old fights for years on end without God’s intervention. For instance, if victims ‘fight’ narcissism in the wrong way by allowing those demoniacs to provoke them into arguments, which usually explode into rage and violence, they simply feed their entitlement and grandiosity. As long as the abused play along, narcissists, for their amusement, will literally make them suffer until ‘death do them part’ to supply their constant need for anarchy through either negative or positive attention! There is no way to resolve conflict with narcissists, no matter what the abused do. The only way to deal with them is to disengage from all provocations, which were satanically designed to force the abused deeper into their filth and control, pulling them over to their dark side. So, to “overcome” such boundless evil, they must arm themselves with the necessary knowledge about who and what they are really ‘fighting,’ otherwise they will remain enslaved to sadistic satanists, who are “beyond [morality, conscience,] and feeling,” as Paul explained in Ephesians 4:18-24.