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¨ Should perpetrators be willing to obey God’s Moral-Law commandments as described above, they must then be willing to do sincere restitution through absolute and lasting repentance while relying fully on Jesus and the Truth of His Word to empower them. That will bring complete redemption for both the abused and their abusers, (Jam. 4:7-8.) Restitution also means they must speak the truth about all their lies, and never “play meerkat” again, steal, or destroy anyone or anything in any way. As they progressively seek God’s face and work on their Scriptural relationship with Him above all, while building their relationship with their good spouses and other Godly people that can uplift them, Jesus will heal the “souls” or intellect and emotions of those that were deeply torn by addictions to all kinds of ruin, (Eph. 5:21-32; Isa. 53:3-5.) If both the abused and their abusers decidedly work together, (and forgiving is God’s mandate while accepting unrepentant adulterating spouses again is not,) it might be instant or a long process, but God is faithful and will never forsake His obedient, blood-redeemed disciples, (Mt. 19:9! Heb. 5:8: Isa. 43:1-3.)
What about unrepentant abusers the abused remain yoked to in various ways? I seriously encourage all blood-cleansed believers who are battling against the assaults and lies of the enemy through his human disciples, which only intend to rob them of their freedom, peace, and blessing in Christ, to confront their abusers according to God’s commandments and work through their issues as far as possible if they have not done so already, (see Mt. 18:15-20.) After that, they must stand firm in their freedom while obeying God Who declared in Isaiah 1:18, “[Flee from all these things as far as possible, and from all the people that have harmed, provoked, and tempted you to sin, Eph. 5:11; 2 Cor. 10:3-5.] Come now, and let us reason together. [Tell Me exactly how you feel and what ails you. Then understand the following.] Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow. Though they are red like crimson, they shall be as wool. If you are willing to obey [My Moral Law,] you shall eat the good of the land… If you [sincerely] confess our sins [and repent from it] I will be faithful and just to forgive you your sins and to cleanse you from ALL unrighteousness… For in Christ, you have [present tense] redemption [or full deliverance] through His blood [which is] the forgiveness of sins according to His grace,” (Mt. 18:15-20; 1 Jn. 1:7-10; Jn. 13:34; Eph. 1:7.)
Dearly beloved, take these promises from the Most High God and stand in the will and power of the Lord Jesus Christ to get what you probably never had. God said it, and we must all believe it and make it ours. He has already scrubbed all His true believers utterly clean in the blood of Jesus! So, who can bring a charge against His Holy-Spirit filled body of Christ and His holy temple? (Rom. 8:1-11; 1 Cor. 3:16-17.) Thus, no matter what happened in the past, all abused people must decidedly and in complete dependency upon God’s promises in His Word, and the righteous application of it by the Holy Spirit, move forward in Christ. Do not despise little advances and do not be discouraged by failures.
Should we fall, we must get right up and flee back to the feet of Jesus, (Jn. 6:37; 1 Jn. 1:8-10; Jam. 3:2.)
Let us never shy away from Jesus and throw our blessings in the fire, but cherish everyone and everything He had entrusted to us. True, Godly “love” or agape can only flourish by giving of ourselves, but we must never, as far as possible, surrender ourselves to the dictates and control of abusers, (Mt. 7:6 KJV.) Let us not allow anyone to steal our peace and eternal lives in the Lord Jesus Christ. Surely, we are not living in that dirt anymore. If we do, we must make a stern decision and trust Jesus to set us free as explained in this article. We must never invite new dirt into our lives. Terrible as it was, it is over now; gone forever. We are safe under the full protection of Jesus as long as we remain at His feet.
So, all those who dodge intimacy, either emotionally or sexually with their good wives or husbands, must also make a choice to constantly work on their agape “love” for God and other people. Decide never to push your good spouses away. Take control of your lives by prayerfully studying the Bible from the New Testament perspective. Fall at the feet of Jesus in every trial and temptation and refuse to give in to the sins that pressured you to remain in darkness. Concentrate on God’s indescribable love for you. Turn your marriage into a continuous romance as far as possible. Dress up for your spouse; do candlelight dinners, do interesting things together, and cultivate your respect, friendship, and love for each other. All the while, decidedly surrender yourself emotionally to your good spouse in Godly love - and the intimacy in marriage will naturally follow as you fall in love with each other again.
Stop enabling the destruction of the enemy by submitting to his plan to let you implode upon yourself, by constantly focussing on what you have lost and suffered. Ask our Father in heaven to turn everything bad into good — and to let this be a testimony that we sincerely belong to the Living God! Choose to live beyond the isolating borders that abusers have set up around you. Make time for your loving family, faithful friends, the true members of the body of Christ, and be kind to strangers where possible. Our planet is filled with lonely people. Prayerfully reach out to the lost, orphans, widows, and the elderly, by being available to them as God opens doors for you. Ask the Holy Spirit to bring you to those who need Him, and whose needs you will understand. Visit those in hospital if God calls you to do that. Join the volunteers that help at an animal shelter if you have a heart for God’s abused creatures. Start a hobby that will compliment your life in Christ. Tend your home and garden if you have a garden. Work at it prayerfully and ask the Holy Spirit to lead you through it all.
Normality in your relationships will follow a Godly lifestyle in Christ to bless yourself and other people, (Ps. 72:12-19, “He will deliver the needy when he cries. The poor also, and him who has no helper. He will spare the poor and needy, and will save their souls. He will redeem them [with His blood] from oppression and violence… (v. 18,) Blessed be the Lord God, Who only does wondrous things! And blessed be His glorious Name forever…”
Ţ The Book, ‘Dealing with Abuse and Abusers God’s Way’