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my life 4 jesus.co.za |
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You have Magnified Your Word above All Your Name, Ps. 138:2 |
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Dealing With Abuse and Abusers God’s Way Suffering victims of abuse must realize that assault, false accusation, vulgar language, lies, deception, theft, humiliation, rejection, destruction, neglect, disinterest, cruel mind games, treason, adultery, and abandonment do not constitute love and care. It is hatred for God, His inward Moral Law, people, animals, and His entire creation! (1 John 3:10-15.)
Renette Vermeulen
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[Acknowledgement to the people who compiled and published these images]
IntroductionAbuse should never be overlooked or ignored. If it remains unrepented, it will always be an escalating process of destruction. So, where the word “victim” is used in this study, it does not mean a “victim mentality that merely seeks sympathy” or something similar. It refers to the true “injured parties,” “fatalities,” or “casualties” of barnyard bullies in schools, marriages, families, friendships, workplaces, and so on. Unrepentant bullies of all ages always grow into full blown abusers who lack morality, empathy, and conscience. If they choose not to sincerely deal with their abusive behavior spiritually, mentally, and physically, their sadism will develop into narcissism and psychopathy. This book is not a study from the viewpoint of psychiatry or from psychology as such. To escape the dreadful, yet common consequences of trauma and abuse, it attempts to clarify malevolent human behavior to understand and thus resolve problems with abusers. The study of human behavior, as also found in psychology but not so much in psychiatry, is the crux of this book; confirmed and guided by the never-changing, Scriptural Word of the Lord Jesus Christ. Nevertheless, as many Christian psychologists also use some of the occult practices of psychiatry in their “talk therapy,” one must be careful to “test and prove everything to see if it is from God,” (1 Ths. 5:21-22.) Yet, ‘talk therapy’ supposedly allows traumatized people to “heal themselves” by acquiring ‘self-knowledge’ through discussing their problems while the therapist mostly listens. This is usually blended with the false teachings of psychology and occult practices like the mind-altering techniques of yoga, hypnosis, etcetera; unleashing unknown spirits upon suffering people. I believe ‘talk therapy’ is beneficial if the intention is purely to vent shock, confusion, grief, and other trauma, and to share chronic problems so that both the ‘victim’ and the ‘therapist’ can understand and assess the situation. It is necessary for abused people to understand the complicated nuances of abuse and the stealthy methods of abusers, which is the beginning of healing emotionally and avoiding sinful control and other toxicity on a mental level. However, we should never follow chaotic “deliverance” and other weird practices in churches, (1 Jn. 4:1-4.) Instead of helping or supposedly “delivering” people, those ‘ministers’ pose great spiritual and emotional dangers to unwary, hurting believers, who trust them with their most intimate pain and problems. Similarly, we must be on our guard against the deceptions of both psychologists and clergies that teach, ‘People are not responsible for their behavior because it [allegedly] manifests through “genetic codes” or “inherited cursed bloodlines.”’ Clergies misuse Exodus 20:1-6 to ‘confirm’ that deception, but this passage does not contain the words “cursedness,” “bloodlines,” or “inherited.” It states, those who “HATE GOD” by [unrepentantly] committing “iniquity,” [in this case, idolatry by bowing to manmade idols as their fathers taught them to do,] will be “visited” by the ‘iniquity” of “their fathers,” [they will be ‘tempted’ to live by the examples their parents set for them.] “But God shows mercy to thousands of those who [personally] LOVE GOD by keeping His [Moral-Law] commandments,” (John 14:15; 1 Jn. 2:3-11.) Hence, Ezekiel 18:1-19 repeatedly testify, ‘The son does not bear the guilt of the father and the father does not bear the guilt of the son.’ Everyone is responsible before God for his or her own choices, (Jn. 1:12-14.) In contrast to what churches teach, both human or animal bodies and blood are sinless. That is why the Old Israeli temple sacrifices could symbolize the sinless, perfect Lamb of God, the Lord Jesus Christ, (Lev. 17:11.) And this is why Mary was an ordinary woman that was born exactly the same way into the same circumstances of every other human, but her human body, as everyone else’s body, was so ‘innocent’ that she could conceive the Lord Jesus Christ, God Himself, and bring Him into the world, (Mark 6:3; Rom. 12:5; Mt. 12:49-51.) The “sinful flesh” spoken of in the Bible is not the physical body. It refers to the corrupted “mind or soul” of man, which must be systematically “renewed” to understand God’s will to obey Him, (Rom. 12:1-2; 2 Cor. 10:3-5; Rom. 8:5-11.) So, without ignoring the demonic influence on sin, Exodus 20:1-6 and Ezekiel 18:1-19 actually warn, it is essential to understand that it is a personal choice to follow the “iniquities” of “the fathers.” That is because both bad and good behavior are strengthened by persistently practicing certain learned behaviors, (Jn. 1:12-14.) Thus, if people prefer to remain addicted to harmful substances; if they enjoy to unrepentantly commit serial adultery and other sexual filth; if they sadistically harm and cruelly control people, animals, and other creatures, they will be “visited” by the “iniquities” of “their fathers,” (Rom. 1:18-23.) God warned in Proverbs 25:28, “He, who has no control over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down and without walls.” This “city” is not a place anyone should attempt to enter or inhabit, as only lawlessness and danger lurks there. —————————————————————————————————— Contents ¨ What is “Trauma Bonding,” “Treason Bonding,” and “Stockholm Syndrome?” ¨ Blaming God, themselves, and others for suffering abuse ¨ THE DREADFUL SIN OF ‘PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE’ BEHAVIOR IS COVERT NARCISSISM ¨ VICTIMS’ HATRED FOR ‘PASSIVE’ PROTECTORS ¨ Abusive control can be highly addictive ¨ Will God kill that abuser to end the torture? ¨ ABUSERS ARE CUNNING SHAPE SHIFTERS AND ALWAYS HAVE TWO FACES ¨ “CHRIST CALLED HIS DISCIPLES TO A SELFLESS LIFE; THEY MUST NEVER PROTEST ABUSE!” - “IS THAT SCRIPTURAL?” ¨ Jesus and His disciples did defend their human and legal rights ¨ “LOVE YOUR NEIGHBORS” MEANS ‘AGAPE’ THEM IN DEED AND TRUTH ¨ DOES GOD “LOVE” AND SAVE US “UNCONDITIONALLY” - even if we REFUSE to REPENT? ¨ WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO FORGIVE SEVENTY TIMES SEVENTY ¨ SPIRITUAL AND EMOTIONAL ABUSE IN CHURCH AND AT HOME ¨ “LOVE OTHER PEOPLE AS YOURSELF!” - “BUT… I MUST CRUCIFY MYSELF, NOT ‘LOVE’ MYSELF!” ¨ “WHY COMPLAIN - SIMPLY FORGIVE AND FORGET!” - Whaaat? ¨ “FORGIVE [THAT ABUSER] FROM THE HEART!” - “WOW, THAT SOUNDS IMPOSSIBLE!” ¨ WHAT DOES THIS MEAN: “FORGIVE US AS WE FORGIVE OTHERS?” ¨ “BLESS, DO GOOD, AND PRAY FOR YOUR ABUSERS!” - “HOW CAN I, WITH SO MUCH HURT, ANGER, AND RESENTMENT?” ¨ ANGER IS A NATURAL BUT DANGEROUS EMOTION ¨ Matthew chapter 5 is Jesus’ handbook on anger management ¨ Defamation of character is slander and constitute the crime of crimen injuria ¨ Private confrontation is a commandment of God and not crimen injuria ¨ God forbade cliques, and the spreading of twisted, unnessesary, and harmful truths ¨ HEALING BROKEN RELATIONSHIPS ¨ A PRAYER FOR DELIVERANCE AND HEALING
“TRAUMA BONDING,” “TREASON BONDING,” “GASLIGHTING,” AND “STOCKHOLM SYNDROME”Usually trauma, (extremely shocking events,) and abuse, (chronic maltreatment,) form a long term symbiosis to destroy people and animals on a multilevel. (Animals have the same emotions humans have and they feel pain just like humans do.) As the motivations and cruelty of abuse transcends the natural mind, humans can never really phantom the mind-altering impact of abuse, or the suffering, helplessness, and cluelessness of the abused. Consequently, it is necessary to understand that the mechanisms, which psychiatry presents to clarify and contain trauma and abuse, do not provide a definite answer to the detrimental effects of spiritual, emotional, and physical trauma and maltreatment. Abuse is such a terrible crime, only the Lord Jesus Christ, the Most Wise and Merciful King of the universe, can be the Comforter, Redeemer, and Healer of the abused, (John 1:1-3.) It is said that the Russian dictator Stalin demonstrated the method of trauma-bonding by plucking out all the feathers of a live chicken in front of his audience. He did it so callously and self-assured that hardly anyone understood the inhumane cruelty he was committing. As the traumatized bird stood trembling, near death, bleeding, and in excruciating pain, he threw scraps of food at it, demonstrating how the tortured creature would always view him as its protector and provider to be utterly dependant on him. This demonstrated the possession, power, fear, and control he exerted over the creature. The spectators were so shocked by this indescribably merciless presentation, only a few thought logically enough to question Stalin’s heartlessness or suspected that he could have been an inherent sadist and psychopathic murderer, who was simultaneously loosening spirits of mind control over them. Because he was a Baphomet worshipping mason, he probably also sacrificed other living things, humans too, on the altar of the devil during satanic rituals, as demons empower all kinds of evil from the spirit world, (John 8:44.) The more unrepented and depraved the behavior, the more and stronger the demons that inhabit the abuser, (Luke 11:26 KJV.) Yet, it is not uncommon that such conscience-deprived people feign religiosity. “And no wonder, for Satan himself transforms him into an angel of light. [So,] it is no great feat for his ministers to [do the same,]” (2 Cor. 11:14-15.) On a physical level, Stalin got away with it all because he pretended to be such a nice guy and strong leader that even the millions that feared him, idolized him. People would not say anything ‘bad’ about him to expose his true deeds and character. Instead, he hoodwinked them to overlook his cruelty to see his victims as ‘evil’ and ‘deserving of unending torture and death.’ Hitler is another example of dictators that operate on those principles to control nations and everyone else around them, who believe they are great political saviors while they are genocidal criminals, who ultimately torture, terrorize, sabotage, dispossess, and murder millions of innocent, defenceless people. Let us not think only in terms of genocidal dictators and notorious serial killers when we hear about such obvious and/or secret abuse. All unrepentant abusers suffer from what I call ‘dictator-syndrome.’ They might not become literal serial killers, but to various degrees, they all operate on the same principles.
All of the above illustrates ‘trauma bonding.’ It consists of immense shock and overwhelming bewilderment, in combination with a most convincing pretence of love and care, which abusers use to psychologically addict their victims to them. Trauma bonding also involve the unleashing of other abusive tactics upon their victims to confuse, overpower, control, intimidate, and manipulate them. Among these are abandonment, neglect, rejection, the molestation of children, fornication, adultery, constant false promises and lying, illogic and unrelenting arguments, false accusations, slander, projection of the abusers’ sin onto their victims — in combination with oppression, aggression, sabotage, uncontrolled rages, threats of all kinds, destruction of everything money can and cannot buy, assault, rape, and eventually, emotional murder. All these awful things stem from raw hatred for God, humanity, and creation, (1 John 3:15.) As if such terrorizing and destruction on a multilevel are not enough to drive anyone into an asylum, “gaslighting” also accompany the most callous process of trauma bonding. The intention of gaslighting is to make victims believe they are going insane, and eventually, to declare them insane. ‘Gaslighting’ means, to confuse and manipulate victims by stealing, misplacing, destroying and moving their belongings, and re-creating events and realities to suit the false accusations, blame-shifting, and lies of abusers. They do that so self-assured, unrelentingly, and to such an extent, their victims become so disorientated and absent-minded, they “doubt their own memories, perceptions, experiences, realities, and understanding of events.” Narcissistic abuse and gaslighting consist of such unbelievably malignant mind games, steered by different levels of violence, even the victims themselves cannot believe that their abusers can be capable of such devious deeds. They usually cover the abuse because of shame and the fear that no one would believe them even if they told them the truth. Everyone on the other side of this tightly drawn ‘iron curtain,’ knows serial abusers as charming, ‘generous,’ ‘good’ people. That is why, if gaslighting and all their other abusive tricks continue indefinitely, abusers will cause the death of their victims, who collapse from things like stroke and heart failure. Or victims eventually commit suicide, which will please these egotistic sadists immensely. Such murderers walk away from their crimes without even a thought of remorse.
Such incredible injustices are commonplace because trauma bonded, gaslighted onlookers as well as victims, unwittingly suffer from ‘Stockholm Syndrome.’ This means, they will defend their abusers with their lives and look everywhere for excuses to justify their completely unacceptable behavior, because they totally overlook their crimes to see only their ‘good’ side, no matter what abusers do to them and other people. Mostly, sympathisers of abusers as well as those who were exposed to their chronic hatred, make themselves believe that abusers are merely ‘difficult’ people, who actually have to be respected by everyone. In reality, narcissists and other psychopathic abusers, (who all lack morality, empathy, and conscience, and are the instruments of dark forces, otherwise they would not be able to do what they do,) torture their victims mercilessly for personal entertainment, and psychological and physical pleasure. That is why they purposely fleece their victims secretly but also in public. They are such exercised geniuses they can get away with anything, because the trauma bonded abused, suffering from gaslighting and Stockholm Syndrome, become so confused with the true concepts of “love” and “care” they turn a blind eye to even the most daring and sadistic mistreatment that abusers inflict on them. Treason-bonding works the same way. Neglecting parents that raised their children in a ‘home’ where they could never be acceptable, please them, or think for themselves, while other children and people were loved and cherished instead, actually trampled the love of their children to pieces by betraying their trust. Immoral and violent spouses that continually committed adultery but manipulated the truth and lied to their spouses to believe they love them, also betrayed their trust. People whose family slandered their names with matters that were entrusted to them and also by conjuring up destructive lies, deeply betray the trust, dependency, and love of those, whom they were supposed to have protected, nourished, and cherished, as God commands in His Word, (Eph. 5:29 KJV.) The results of treason-bonding, which is always in tandem with trauma bonding, are exactly the same as described above. All unrepentant abusers live double lives. So, when they continually betray those who were sincerely their ‘loved ones,’ (although it only came from the victims and not from the abusers,) usually live their stealthy, double lives so seamlessly, they primarily teach their children, spouses, families, and friends that cruel, illogical behavior is “normal” and “nothing serious.” E.g., during gatherings such as wedding receptions traitors like that get hopelessly drunk and behave so badly their children and spouses cannot look their family and friends in the eyes again, but they act so charming and funny the people like them and think nothing of it. Simultaneously, they flirt so openly with the bridesmaids they shame their spouses into silence and passivity. But because they make such a casual charade of their betrayal, they condition everyone to see their abandonment, treason, and infidelity as a joke, and no one suspects it was actually a setup for illicit, adulterous affairs that will last for months, even years. Another nasty repercussion of inflicting any amount of trauma bonding, gaslighting, Stockholm Syndrome, and treason bonding on people, (which abusers thoroughly enjoy doing,) is that the cheated, humiliated spouses get the bad names. Power and sex-crazed abusers easily make their audiences believe they, (the abusers,) do not get love, attention, and forgiveness from those so-called ‘selfish,’ ‘stupid,’ ‘evil’ controlling marriage partners. Thus, they, the abusers, are entitled to ‘overtly,’ [grandiosely and openly,] as well as ‘covertly,’ [secretly,] coerce everyone else into slandering the names and characters of the innocent victims involved. Of course the spouses of such demonic beasts know they are being betrayed, but under these circumstances too, it is easier to overlook the humiliation and rejection because their abusers would simply turn it all on them, (the victims,) who allegedly “manufacture their own realities because they are sick, jealous, mad, and possessive.” Should abusers be confronted afterwards, they would simply put up innocent faces, and most convincingly and aggressively deny all liability, the absolute facts, and real circumstances. If the argument, (which they always control,) continues to their joy, they will even rant and rave because they are “being innocently accused with lies and must defend themselves.” They so arrogantly refuse to acknowledge they ever abused anyone, and make their victims into culprits directly from hell, which gives them the great excuse to attack and violently assault their victims just to further “defend themselves.”
Here follows the conclusion of all these detrimental facts in a nutshell Trauma bonding, treason bonding, gaslighting, and Stockholm Syndrome become inevitable if victims tolerate narcissistic bullying in any of the above descriptions long enough. Simply to cope with the incomprehensible crimes against them, they will begin to defend, support, and idolize their abusers no matter how nasty they are to them and other people. These techniques are psychological defence-mechanisms to bear the pain and humiliation of abuse without disintegrating. It is, therefore, not uncommon that cheated, assaulted, downtrodden spouses and beaten, neglected, tortured children, (especially those who were also sexually abused,) will fiercely defend their abusers with any “good” they can conjure up, even after the death of those evil beasts. E.g., “My dad hit the living daylights out of me on every bad hair day and punched holes into everything we had, but that was just the way he was.” “No matter how many times she committed adultery, gave me the clap, [Gonorrhoea,] and lied about it, I will always love her. I cannot live without her.” (Continue) |
